missroserose: (Show Your Magic)
After years of assiduously avoiding it (not out of any prejudice, just, I already felt like I spent enough time on social media), I've finally started using Tumblr. I'm still figuring out the interface (hot tips welcome!), and I'm kind of amused that I've apparently started using it just in time for a good chunk of the userbase to get fed up and start actively looking for other options, but so it goes.

I don't know if anyone here's on Tumblr, but if you want to follow me, I'd love to have you. Fair warning, though, I'm basically using it as an idea board for various creative endeavors, so you can expect to see a lot of The Lost Boys content on there for the foreseeable future. Though possibly also some more general writing- and music-related stuff, too...

As for my many and varied creative endeavors, they're continuing. I've been keeping up guitar practice more consistently than I have at any time since coming to Chicago. I'm about 25K words into the Giant Fanfic Project of Doom, which feels like Not Very Much given how long I've been plugging away at it (life has a tendency to get in the way), but at the same time it's more than I've ever done on any non-NaNo project and it feels more coherent than any of my NaNo projects, so I'm pleased overall. I'm also, now, revising a 4K word side story that might also be a birthday/thank-you/I-really-like-you present for Sky, my writer-friend. It takes place in the same universe as the main story and informs some of the events, so I'm calling it background development and totally not a distraction, heh. Plus, it's given me the opportunity to play around with a more lyrical voice; I went to see a couple of truly amazing author friends read at a fiction salon when they were in town and came away inspired, even if I'm light-years away from their level. I also have an invite from the folks running the salon to come back each month, which I may well do—they have open mic slots after their featured readers, and more than one person there told me how helpful it was with motivation to have that community expecting something new. Which sounds very much like what I need to keep going consistently...though regular attendance may need to wait for after teacher training.

Related, I've been coming to terms with the fact that my spare time in my current life is much more limited than it used to be. In a lot of ways, that's a net positive—I find I'm much more focused when I have something I want to accomplish in a small amount of time, rather than finding the days stretching before me with plenty of time to faff about on Facebook or what have you. But it also means that the number of plates I can spin at once is...limited. Last week Brian was out of town, and after several days on a creative binge doing very little but working and writing and playing guitar, I was beginning to feel a little depressed. I spent some time folding laundry and listening to a Billy Joel record, and when I flipped it over, "Vienna" came on, and man, I swear it was like Billy was singing straight to my soul. "Dream on, but don't imagine they'll all come true..." I was legit crying.

There's something about creativity that's more than a bit druglike. From the outside, it's more than a little puzzling, but the more you do it, the more you want to do, and the more frustrated you get with your limitations. (Or I do, anyway.) As I was saying to Sky, it's a good thing I have a partner who's willing to say "hey, I need you to clean the kitchen and run these errands that're piling up"...otherwise I'd probably turn into one of those Parisian expatriate authors who lives in a garret and spends weeks subsisting on absinthe and cocaine and the occasional croissant from the coffeeshop downstairs, heh. (Which would probably have me in a blood sugar coma within a couple of days, so, best that I don't!) So I'm working on life balance, too...which is probably going to be a lifetime's work.
missroserose: (Life = Creation)
To continue from last night's post: after years of admiring, I finally broke down and purchased a Kindle Oasis; not only are the ergonomics, faster processor, and higher-density screen meaningful upgrades over my several-years-old Paperwhite, it's waterproof for bath time! I have proceeded to name it Champagne Supernova. (There's a bit of Big Data I'd love to have: how many people have registered their Oases with Amazon under the name "Wonderwall".)

Project Keepon Reading is proceeding in fits and starts. It's weird to realize that something I usually think of as a pleasurable activity actually takes a certain amount of mental focus; usually it's low enough that I don't even notice it, but between home-buying and the Giant Writing Project of Doom, my mental spoons have been almost entirely spoken for lately. I'll open a book, read a couple of pages, and realize I don't remember any of it because my brain is entirely elsewhere. The time I usually spend listening to audiobooks is almost entirely taken up by music and character-playlist-making, both to keep up enthusiasm for writing and because it helps keep me from obsessing over budgets and HOA documents and closing procedures. I haven't even sat down at the piano in a week. I'm hoping that once home-buying and moving are done with (a week and a half to closing, two and a half until we start moving in), that'll return some mental spoons, but for now I think I'm more focused on what's directly in front of me.

As to the GWPoD, I spent a couple of weeks on the outlining/character sketches/scrapbooking phase, then realized I was putting off the actual writing part; perfectionism strikes again! I think writing (and re-writing, and re-re-writing) the slashfic that sparked this whole thing was a good preparatory experience. For so much of my life I've felt like my writing was a failure if it didn't come out perfectly (or near enough to only need minor edits) on the first go, so of course I had to have everything envisioned perfectly in my head before I could even start putting words down. No wonder I only ever wrote short stories. I'm at 4600 words now, almost all of which are likely to be cut, and I'm actually okay with that. I've been taking a cue from Chuck Wendig and thinking of my words as building material. (Using Scrivener helps with this, since each scene is a separate document with attached notes that can be moved around at will.) Once I have enough bricks to start building a structure, then I can worry about things like arc and theme and tone; maybe the final structure will look way different than I'm envisioning it now, and that's okay.

I've never tried writing this way before, and it's oddly freeing, even if I do occasionally freak out about how much time and effort I'm 'wasting'. We'll see how it goes long-term...some part of me is curious as to whether I'll still be this enthusiastic about it in a couple of months, or whether my enthusiasm is a coping mechanism to deal with the house-buying stress.

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Ambrosia

May 2022

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