It's Only A Paper Rose

So, I'm in Michigan! Given that this has been the plan for, oh, roughly a month and a half, normally I would have mentioned it here. But since the whole reason I was here was to get revenge on a friend who follows his friends' online updates obsessively, referring to it even obliquely was kind of a nonstarter.

Short version - remember the story from my wedding about the dear friend who showed up at the last minute and my mother snuck him in? He had the lead in a play here, and with some fiscal help from my mother and logistical help from his girlfriend I managed to get transportation to a front-row seat for the show Friday. I kept up the charade until the last minute, too - I'd been sending him texts each night telling him he'd be great, look for me in the front row, etc., for obfuscation purposes. It probably goes without saying that I got an especial thrill from doing it from the actual front row. (I heard from the stage manager that when he went backstage at intermission he was laughing and going "I must be getting really good at this imagination thing...") And to give credit where it's due, he was pretty brilliant - the show as a whole was entertaining as heck.

It's not going to be a long trip, but since getting here involved nearly seven hours of flying, I'm staying through until Tuesday. It's interesting; I've never been this far East, and while Michigan looks pretty much like the rest of America, there've been a few things to get used to. Like how you can drive through three or four different towns in the space of twenty minutes and not even notice where the boundaries were. (Bit of a change from Alaska and Arizona, where the towns - be they large cities or mere outposts of civilization in the wilderness - are all surrounded by stretches of a whole lot of nothing.) Or like how, while I've lived somewhere with the humidity and somewhere with the heat, I've never quite had to deal with both at once. Fortunately it's not overly hot yet, but man...80 degrees in the desert is about 100 times more bearable. (Although all the lovely green grass and trees is a balm for my desert-scorched eyes that are used to seeing nothing but brown as far as the eye can reach right now.)

Aside from the show, activities so far have been light. We went to see Bridesmaids on a whim yesterday, and I was surprised at how much I enjoyed it. Cringe-comedy has never really been my thing, but the scriptwriters were smart enough to realize that it was the dressing to the story rather than the whole of the story, and said story felt quite authentic and true. I particularly liked how, while there was the obligatory fat/plain/socially awkward character who got a lot of the obligatory fat/plain/socially awkward jokes, they also gave her a couple of scenes that fleshed her character out somewhat, and even made her a bit of a badass, both emotionally/mentally and physically.

In any case, I've been suffering from severe travel-insomnia, and managed my first block of more than four hours of uninterrupted sleep in a good 72 hours just now. So I'm going to see if I can keep on with my lucky streak, especially as I've heard rumblings that we may be off to the Detroit Zoo today. Lions and tigers and bears, oh my...

Found accidentally whilst Googling for a bartending post: Christina Hendricks sparks increase in hourglass-figure clothing sales.

May I just reaffirm myself as being completely in favor of this trend, and extremely pleased to see it? I've been waiting for the cycle to come through again, and had hoped that the likes of Kate Winslet and Scarlett Johansson would help to inspire it. Although that infamous shot from Mad Men probably didn't hurt. Except possibly my jaw nearly dislocating as it hit the floor the first time I saw it. Ahem.

Also? The picture of the "traditional" model in the initial article? Seriously creeping me out. As Brian observed, she looks about half a step away from a Silent Hill monster...

Note:  Some minor spoilers ahead, although as it's a Fate-locked (read: paid) storyline, I'm keeping the details to myself.

One of the many stories you can play in Echo Bazaar involves an acquaintance known as the Repentant Forger, and a painting you buy (or steal).  Initially you plan to ditch the (all-black and "fatally modern") canvas and just sell the frame, but if you have the Fate and know the Repentant Forger, he'll tell you that there's actually a painting hidden beneath the black.  Thus begins a long and arduous (for him) process of stripping the paint off, layer by layer - each one revealing a more scandalous aspect of a portrait that had been painted out, each one increasing the value of the painting (at first in terms of blackmail from the family of the sitter, later in terms of secrets hidden in the various layers of the painting).  The Repentant Forger, meanwhile, has a harder and harder time of it, as the painting is giving him nightmares - towards the end, you have to literally bribe him with diamonds or rare wine, or threaten to rat him out to the Constables, in order to get him to continue.  This is hardly surprising, as the information contained within the painting (without going too heavily into EB's extensive backstory) is of the sort known to cause anything from nightmares to loss of sanity to actual spontaneous combustion.

I'm at the final option of the story, where the (extremely haggard) Forger, having done a beautiful job and uncovered a disturbing scene, swears to me that there are no more layers to the painting.  This is not quite the end of the storyline, however.  On the one hand, I can trust his statements, copy down the details of the painting, sell the canvas for (one assumes) a significant sum, and have done with the thing.  Alternatively, I can demand that the Forger continue his work.  It would ruin my relationship with him, and there's at least a decent chance there'd be nothing beneath the paint save blank canvas (thus rendering the entire thing worthless to anybody), but I would be absolutely certain there were no more secrets to be had from it.

As a clever reader might have gathered from my review, there's a distinct undercurrent of dark obsession running through Echo Bazaar's storylines.  Often in the game, this ruthlessness in the pursuit of one's desire is rewarded, albeit not without certain unflattering attributes attaching to your character.  And the discovery of secrets related to the heart of the game is one of its great joys.  So there's a distinct motivation there to push this to the end and see where it goes.

On the other hand, I must admire the clever way in which the game's writers have set this up.  If it were simply a matter of the currency invested in this storyline (diamonds and rare wine don't come cheap), there'd be no question - I have plenty of wealth, and the game does not give up its deepest secrets easily.  But the loss of the Repentant Forger's friendship may well have ramifications further down the road (there are plenty of other storylines like this one that require acquaintanceship with a particular individual to play), and while few choices in the game are entirely irreversible (often it will dangle the opportunity to change a past decision - for a small fee, of course), it's also just a plain awful way to treat a friend.  

Admittedly, the stakes here are fairly low; it's a game, fer chrissakes.  But this is what I mean when I talk about just how involving the story can be - I'm not certain I want my character to be the sort of person who's do this to a friend, but by the same token, I know she's the sort of person (because I am) whose need to know may well override her better judgment.  Additionally, I must doff my cap to the writers; often in stories like this, less skilled tellers telegraph which option is the "correct" one; all I have to do is imagine what I would do if I were the writer, and there's the answer.  Here, I could honestly see it going either way - I might offer a reward for the obsessive option (at a price, of course), or I might say "You'd seriously give up your friendship just to make absolutely sure he's not lying to you?  Here, have a useless canvas and an estranged friend."  And, of course, it wouldn't at all be hard to write the result of the "safe" option in order to leave a certain ambiguity about what would have happened had you gone the other way.

So, friends, I ask you:  Given the situation, which would you choose?

Unemployed construction worker at the end of his benefits pulls $1 million prize off McRib meal

I know there are thousands (if not millions) of unemployed people right now, many of whom are in equal or worse straits than this dude. I know he's just one guy, and while he's getting a very merry Christmas, lots more potentially-better-deserving people aren't. I know this doesn't solve anything in the long run.

But for some reason, even though I don't know this guy or anyone associated with him, his story warms my heart. Maybe because it's proof that, every now and then, good things do happen to the people who need them.

Merry Christmas, everyone.



(Although it wouldn't be me if I didn't grouch just a little, so - what's with the last paragraph of that article? Did the writer have a flashback to his last job writing ad copy or something?)

Almost 10,000 words in one day. It's really true what they say about the penultimate unit of time and its relationship to productivity.

I have to admit, there were several times this month I didn't think I was going to make it. Even having done so, there's still so much work to be done, both finishing the story and then editing and polishing it, that it almost doesn't feel like I've accomplished that much. But it's a first step, at least, and one that I'm pleased to have finally made.

This post, by Amanda Marcotte over at Slate's women's-issues blog, is a good post that brings up some excellent points. However, the first paragraph especially made me want to cheer aloud, and I thought it was worth repeating:

Sometimes I imagine a world where writers are forbidden for a year from starting from the premise that women are dumber, more irrational, or more emotional than men. The pages labeled "Fashion," "Style," or "Life" in newspapers would change dramatically. The trend-piece industry would quite possibly not be able to handle the shift in focus, and collapse completely. Sexism is the gasoline that fuels it.

If I were a praying woman, I might well pray for that, verbatim, every single night. As it is, I can only do my best to contribute to bringing such a world about.

This was making the rounds last year, and I thought it was a pretty awesome idea then. So here's the Broadway Revival 2010 Edition!

The idea is pretty simple. You post a wishlist of ten things. Doesn't matter what size or how expensive they are; the point is that they're each something that you really, truly want. Then encourage your friends to do the same.

Step two is to read your friends' posts (your friends did post, right?) and see if there are any wishes that you feel inspired to fulfill. There's no obligation to do so; however, sometimes you might be surprised at what your friends want that you can provide. Maybe your friend wants some new clothes and you've got a bunch that you don't wear anymore. Maybe you're broke but your friend just needs someone to come cook them a good dinner and let them have a night off. The point isn't to put people out, it's to give everyone a chance to be somebody's holiday elf. If someone gives you something on your list, cross it off.

This wasn't part of the original directions, but I wanted to mention that that last year, that last part really helped me realize how many of my wishes came true, and exactly how lucky I was to have such awesome friends. (I got my wish for a convertible last year, fer chrissakes!) And I'd very much like to encourage my friends to post their lists. The whole point is to find out nifty ways to give to your friends that you might not have thought of on your own, so if none of your friends post it's kind of hard to accomplish that.

This was the disclaimer last year, and I'm posting it again because I think it sums up the whole thing nicely: There are no rules with this project, no guarantees, and no strings attached. Just...wish, and it might come true. Give, and you might receive. And you'll have the joy of knowing you made someone's holiday special.


My list, in no real order:

1.) A moderately nice television. Doesn't have to be huge - we're planning on saving up for a good-size one for our home theater eventually, but there's other more important demands on our money at the moment (like new front tires and a mattress that doesn't have a crater in the middle) and lately I've been really wanting to play some console games.

2.) A mattress that doesn't have a crater in the middle. :)

3.) A massage. There's a dude in town called Nick Night who's amazing, and if you go to him and tell him I sent you, I get free time on the table. Everyone wins!

4.) Visitors. We have an amazing house now in a beautiful spot on the side of a mountain in a fun little town, and I'd like very much to share it with the people I know and love.

5.) Yoga DVDs. I've been having some trouble motivating myself to do yoga regularly, and maybe mixing up the routines a bit would help.

6.) A donation to Worldbuilders. Because that shit be awesome, yo.

7.) A comfortable couch for the family room. The sort that's perfect for snuggling up and watching a movie on, since that's where we hope to someday rebuild our home theater.

8.) Some board games. I've been thinking of trying to get some folks together for a game night, but right now all we have is Dread Pirate and about ten different iterations of Munchkin. I've been eyeing Wits & Wagers, but have also heard good things about Settlers of Cataan...

9.) A cute skirt or two. Practical as jeans and t-shirts are for everyday, sometimes you just want to mix it up, you know?

10.) A coffee from whatever local coffee place we find ourselves nearby. I admit it, overpriced espresso is one of my vices...I even like Starbucks. *shame* And coffee, like many other things, is more awesome when shared.

This story is quite possibly one of the sweetest things I have ever read. (Here's the groom's perspective, which makes for a nice bookend.)

If there was any doubt that these two strange and wonderful people are as meant for each other as any two folks in this crazy world, I'm pretty sure it's gone by now. I don't think I've cried over how happy something has made me since my wedding a year and a half ago.

thank you neil gaiman, my wonderful moxy, for taking me as your lawfully wedded statue….
i love you with all my human heart.

*sniffle*

Depressing start to day: Discovering that the rear brake pads to your expensive German car, which you've been putting off replacing because the dealership quoted you $675, have to be replaced pretty much now, when almost all your funds are tied up in moving.

Slightly less depressing start to day: Calling your local mechanic (who won't touch anything relating to the computer systems in said expensive German car) and having him say sure, he can do the brakes without a problem.

Slightly more depressing, then significantly happier continuation of day: Getting a call from the mechanic saying that unfortunately, the front brake pads need replacing too...and the total cost for all four will be $355.

Even better finish to the day: Having the mechanic call to let you know the car's all ready to be picked up, and going to pick it up and finding something missing...specifically, the coating of dirt on the inside and outside of the car, up to and including hubcaps and tires washed, car vacuumed, and dashboard controls Armor-Alled ("I figured it was one less thing you'd have to do while you were moving...")

Incidentally? If you live in the Sierra Vista, I can't recommend Dan at Auto Logic enough. Seriously. We're moving 30-odd miles away, and I'm sure as heck still going to make the drive to come back.

Libba Bray on education, ambitions, love, and life in general.

About a third of the way through, I started mentally picking favorite quotes to put up here to convince you all to read it. About two-thirds of the way through, I gave up - there were too many bits that are funny or heartbreaking or just authentically true.

So trust me, take a few minutes out of your day, and go read it. Yes, I know it's long. Yes, I know this is the Internet and anything that takes longer than thirty seconds is outside your attention span. Yes, you could write a tl;dr version, but the beauty and truthfulness of her answer lies in its roundabout and disorganized style.

Just read it. It's worth your time.