A grand piano, a grand social media plan

[missroserose]

I've been slacking on piano of late. I had no access to one when I was in Arizona--we were staying in a 5,000 square foot fully-furnished rental mansion with a giant kitchen and pool and hot tub and rec room with air hockey and pool tables and there wasn't a single musical instrument in the entire house. (The snob in me thinks "no wonder these people have an entire bookshelf of right-wing political propaganda", heh.) As it happened, the venue my brother-in-law had rented for the wedding had three pianos, including a beautiful grand in the front foyer; I was there early for family pictures and of course I had to try it out. This resulted in a flurry of texts to my piano-teacher friend:

Me: "Suddenly I see why you're constantly on me about keeping my fingers arched. Those keys are way heavier when there's a big long lever attached."
Him: "Yeah playing on a grand is a whole different experience :)"
Me: "Probably doesn't count as "playing" when you're just picking out a few scales and failing to get the eighths in "Let It Be" to sound properly. More practice for me! When I have a keyboard again."
Him: "ohh but that so counts as playing. I miss the feel and sound of a grand!!"
Me: "I think I kind of hate it because there's no way to be inconspicuous. So everyone hears all my mistakes. {laughing crying face}"

Anyway, my schedule's been jam-packed since I got back and I was also fighting off a cold, so it wasn't until yesterday that I got back to practicing...directly after three hours of massage work, which I also haven't done in a while. Doing something that requires hand strength and dexterity and mental focus after three hours of doing something that requires hand strength and dexterity and mental focus...what can go wrong? But it was where I could fit it in my day, so I plonked my butt down and did it. My hands and arms are a little sore today but that's why ibuprofen was invented.

In other news, I'm trying to figure out what to do about my social media consumption. I never thought I'd be one of those people going on Facebook fasts--I have a lot of friends who live all over the world, and Facebook is super convenient as a reliable way to keep in touch with them. Up until now, when I noticed I wasn't enjoying my Facebook experience as much, I was able to go through and mute a bunch of people and hide the more obnoxious ads and things got better, but lately that strategy seems to be creating diminishing returns. I think some of it's the political atmosphere, which I feel a little bad about withdrawing from--people are upset about legitimate issues, and I don't blame them for needing a place to vent/speak about their causes!--but there's only so much anger (even righteous anger) that I can deal with. I've noticed that a lot of my more thoughtful/less actively political friends (who are the ones I tend to most enjoy interacting with) have been posting less, and of my remaining friends I've mostly been seeing either political posts or cat pictures; no idea if this is just what they're posting or if it's Facebook's algorithm, but either way I don't feel like it's terribly good-quality connection.

For now I'm trying to make an active practice of reducing my scrolling time; I'm going to try and redirect my energy into stuff like reading. I'm a little concerned about how isolating this is, though, and I don't feel I can drop FB entirely (it's sort of necessary for making connections in the yoga community). Maybe I'll see if I can pick up letter-writing again. Or even emails. I miss exchanging long-form communication with people, although I totally get why most folks don't want to spend the time. I'm grateful for my small community here on DW, for just that reason - longer-form posting encourages thoughtfulness and consideration in a way that microblogging really doesn't. I wish more of my favorite Facebook people would think about coming over here, but most of them are probably busy parenting or career-ing or otherwise having a life, heh.

Comments

[asakiyume]

I *must* send you a letter. You'll be the next person I write to.

[missroserose]

I would love that. <3

[asakiyume]

About social media, I think a problem that can arise is that we can sometimes forgo genuine personal communication in favor of a public statement that's out there for all comers to react to. Once people do respond, there can be a personal back-and-forth, but at first we're just singing out in a public forum, waiting for replies--and everyone else is, too. There's nothing wrong with doing that, and probably everyone has stuff to share that could potentially be interesting to strangers--and that's a great way of meeting people--but eventually, to have meaningful relationships, we have to spend time reinforcing personal connections. It can even be using social media as a tool, but the thing we're doing is different. ... This is tangential to what you're saying about Facebook but it popped into my head I guess because public posts of political outrage or upset are (to my mind) examples of singing non-personal singing-out in a public place. It's a person's editorial.

[missroserose]

That's an interesting point. It definitely maps somewhat to my experience - a lot of friends have been writing (or, more often, sharing) quite thoughtful posts on what's going on politically, often pointing out ramifications that I hadn't considered. But you're right that it doesn't really lend itself to personal connection, especially in as angry and frustrated a political environment like this, where an attempt at discussing nuance can read to the OP as "you're wrong about this and that makes you a bad person". (Ask me how I know!) Maybe that's why I've felt so frustrated lately: I love discussing nuance and shades of grey, and that's the first thing that tends to fall by the wayside when people are upset and angry. And so much of what my friends are posting is upset and angry, and other than occasionally offer emotional support (which gets draining fast) I just don't feel I have much to offer.

[asakiyume]

I feel like there are two issues here--one has to do with political frustration/anger/despair, and people's black-and-white thinking, and the other is how people interact in general** on social media. The current situation combines those problems in negative ways.

**By which I mean, the style of the medium: post-that-elicits response.

[osprey_archer]

WOULD YOU LIKE A LETTER?

I'm doing a letter-a-day challenge this month and I have just run out of people to write to and here you are musing about the possibilities of getting back into snail mail. Clearly it's a sign.

And I've also been trying to look at Facebook less. It's like a constant IV drip of outrage and at some point I stopped feeling the righteous anger and just started feeling tired.

[missroserose]

I would absolutely love a letter! And I am pleased at the prospect of being a part of your project.

I like your analogy of an IV drip, it really gets across the consistency of it. I think it's appropriate, too, to how I feel my feed has changed - it used to be the occasional injection of anger or outrage, mixed with a steady stream of neutral saline and occasional really pleasant interactions. But lately it feels like the shots of outrage have been dang near constant, and everyone who's not angry is so afraid of the anger that they're sticking to completely anodyne topics like pictures of their kids or pets. Again, not sure how much of this is what people are posting and how much is the joys of algorithms but...it is tiring.

[osprey_archer]

I've heard this complaint from people aside from you (and complained about it myself), so I don't think it's a problem with your particular set of Facebook friends, at least. Either the algorithms are boosting outrage or there's been an across-the-board increase in outraged posts.

Yesterday I saw people on Facebook get into an angry argument on a cute panda video. It can't be long before even cat pictures are not safe.

[missroserose]

You know, one of my coworkers at the studio was talking about how a friend of hers who'd last visited during the height of the Obama administration had come back to visit, and how she'd commented that Chicago seemed different now. Not unfriendly, exactly, but quieter, more fearful. It made me think back to my experience of the city now versus when I first moved here, and I realized she was right - people are afraid, or at least uncertain, and it's affecting how we interact. I know I've spent more time indoors and less on the street interacting with strangers since the election; some of that's attributable to lifestyle changes (working two jobs = less time to just wander around exploring), but in retrospect no small part of it is that the street feels like a less friendly place. People say hi or compliment my hair less. We're more likely to just hurry past each other. It made me sad to realize, and even sadder when I realized how I hadn't realized. It's one of the reasons I decided to join the tutoring program, despite my (so far unfounded, thankfully) fear of working with kids again; it's something I can do to combat that tendency to self-isolate and give in to fear, just as yoga classes and massage are.