Life with Cats, volume LXVII

[missroserose]

{Stolen from Brian, since his morning-after Facebook writeup was far superior to my 1:30 AM groggy snarkfest.}

SCENE: A BEDROOM (interior, early morning, around 1:00am)

(Two people lay in bed, having just settled down for the evening. They have an early day tomorrow, and are about to drift off to a pleasant sleep. Suddenly, a crashing sound, from outside the room. Neither stirs, as these sounds are commonplace. The crashing noise, however, continues, growing more complex and, in fact, getting louder as the apparent source comes closer.)

ROSE: What is...?

(Shift to BRIAN'S point of view, without glasses. An orange blur shoots by the open door. The crashing noise has gotten even louder and more complicated. A moment later, this scene resolves into a dark comet of terrified TRIPOD KITTEN trailing an orange shopping bag filled with thrift-store ornaments and gifts hurtles into the room.)

BRIAN: Oh, Jesus Christ.

(The TRIPOD KITTEN bounces off the foot of the bed, scrabbles on the floor, then propels itself to BRIAN'S side of the bed. His nose wrinkles as certain smells become reality. The KITTEN has voided its bowels in terror indiscriminately as it has approached. Having at last reached the architect of its salvation, the KITTEN jumps onto the bed, still variously evacuating. BRIAN reaches over to the kitten and plucks the shopping bag off of its head with a resigned sound.)

ROSE: [Laughing herself sick]

BRIAN: (setting the bag aside, sighing, and petting the KITTEN) You stupid, stupid cat.

FIN.

Comments

[vatine]

I think I would still rather have that than "precision-jumping cat from spare bed leaning against wall, onto abdomen". But I am not sure if "dog who has chewed on gnawler bone" is more or less preferable (the gnawler bone was only given the once and caused very, ahem, distinctive flatulence in dog).

[missroserose]

Yeah, at least the smell in this case was easily dealt with. And we needed to change those sheets anyway. :)

[vatine]

Kitten HLEPS! Like a cat!

[jamesd]

There are times when having a less creative cat would be an asset. :)