missroserose | Different paths

Got an email from the Neo-Futurists tonight - I haven't been selected for a callback. It was one of the better artistic rejections I've had, though; for one thing, it was prompt, and for another, someone took the time to write a personalized response with (gasp) actual feedback. I know not all organizations have the time or motivation to offer that, but it meant a lot to me nonetheless; thoughtful and honest feedback is both vital and incredibly hard to come by for any aspiring artist.

In the meantime, I have an appointment tomorrow to check out a massage school! There are several options in town, including the Cortiva and Soma Institutes, which appear to be two of the bigger names. But most of the descriptions I've found of the places (admittedly, mostly Yelp reviews from people trying the student clinic) make them sound a bit large and impersonal. Plus, they're not cheap: over $12K and $15K, respectively. But a little more Googling found me the New School for Massage, Bodywork and Healing, a local place with significantly less expensive tuition ($8700 including materials and licensure exam fees, with work-study options available and a pay-in-advance discount), much smaller class sizes, and strong statistics on certification pass rates and job placement. (The fact that the Yelp reviews for the student clinic were much more uniformly positive also seemed like a good sign; they're probably doing something right.) Plus it's convenient to get to on the train or the bus. I RSVP'd to their open house (on the 20th) and shortly after sent an email inquiring about scholarship/work-study options; their response was quick and asked if I could come in to have a personal tour of the school and discuss financial options. So I'm tentatively impressed with their customer service. We'll see how it feels in person tomorrow.

I've been ruminating a bit on why it is I'm so attracted to the profession, especially given the hits to my pride it's likely to involve. Some of it's what I mentioned earlier, about wanting to make people's lives a little bit better. Some of it's genuine interest in learning how bodies work; one of the things I've been surprised to enjoy as much about yoga as I have is the ongoing lessons in anatomy and alignment. I suspect a good chunk of it is the relatively low level of investment; even if I don't get a work-study position and have to take out a loan for the full amount, thanks to my rather privileged living situation, it'll only take me six months or so of steady work to pay it off, at which point I have the luxury of deciding whether to continue and perhaps save to start my own business, or go do something else and simply have a handy skill-set available so long as I stay in practice. (Given the high-stress nature of both my husband's and my mother's jobs, I doubt I'll have trouble finding someone to practice on.) Some of it's that I've always had a strong empathetic sense and good intuition about what to say and what might feel good to someone; on a mental level this makes me a great agony aunt, but I've noticed it crosses over to physical stuff as well*, and it helps that I have no trouble with nonsexual nudity/touch**, which makes me more than a little unusual in our culture. And a lot of it, I suspect, is the prospect of being able to run my own business if I want to; my mother's prediction when I was a teenager of "I suspect you're going to have trouble in a traditional career because you won't want to work for people you're smarter than" has, sadly, turned out to be true a lot of the time.

In any case, it's an opportunity I feel good about pursuing, even if it isn't artistic per se. And unlike artistic careers, it's something you can make a decent wage doing without it eating your whole life. So we'll see how this opportunity looks.

*A friend of mine confessed to me while visiting last Friday that she loved having her hair brushed; I spent a good twenty minutes brushing her hair for her, which helped keep from freaking out about my upcoming audition, and helped her feel relaxed and happy. I love it when people's needs dovetail so nicely like that. Plus then I got to introduce her to the wonders of a scalp tingler for vagus nerve stimulation. Her response: "This is better than drugs!"

**One of my best friends is someone often in dire need of nonsexual physical contact. Sadly, we live far enough apart that it's not often an option, but when we're together, I love cuddling with her. One of my favorite memories was when we woke up to a decently-strong earthquake; I curled up around her and held her protectively, checking to make sure there wasn't anything likely to fall on us, and just each others' physical presence was enough to be a strong comfort. I miss her.