Note to all female high schoolers/college freshmen:

No, we do not have a pop machine in the Egan Library building. Considering how many accidents we have yearly involving computers/books and drinks, I'm surprised beverages (even covered ones) are allowed in the library at all. Letting out an "Ohmigod, like, why?" in your best valley-girl/cheerleader voice and looking at me like I've grown a second nose will not change the fact that the nearest soda machine is located at the other end of campus (which is easily walkable, it's not that big a campus) in the Hendrickson building. It simply makes you look idiotic, and makes me wonder if I could strangle you and get off on a "favor to humanity" plea.

Also, the note below about perfume/miscellaneous scents below applies to you, too.