A somewhat sad almost-anniversary post

[missroserose]

As a few of you may have noticed, I've been keeping this blog for very nearly seven years now. And I'm very well aware that if you go back over many of the earlier entries, they're rather different in tone - drama-filled, all about relationships and feelings and problems. But gradually, as time went on, these became less and less prevalent; partially because my life settled down some, but mostly because I was getting older, and learning that [a] the world at large didn't care about my petty relationship problems and [b] maturity in our culture is in no small part measured by one's ability to keep one's private life private, and keep up the appearance of general affability on the surface. But if the world at large will forgive my slight lapse (and why wouldn't it, given that the world at large is hardly aware this blog exists?), I'm going to discard those rules, and talk about what's really on my mind.

This evening, we spent several hours in the company of the current owners of our dream home.

I will state for the record that I was against this idea from the start. We'd already seen the place (courtesy of the nice girls house sitting while the owners were in Fiji); we knew it was amazing, we knew we wanted it, we knew it was way, way out of our price range - so what was the point of spending more time mooning over something we couldn't afford? But Brian had his heart set on at least talking to them, so I agreed, despite my reservations that we'd be wasting their time.

The owners, despite being fairly wealthy, weren't snooty or pretentious at all. (In a way, it would've been better if they had, since then we could've walked away with no regrets.) They weren't even really giving us a sales pitch - they knew damn well the place would absolutely sell itself to the right person. Instead, we sat out in the terraced garden and drank wine and chatted for pretty much the entire evening - about Bisbee, about the other people who'd come to look at the place (none who really loved it the way the current owners do, according to their recounting), about the camping opportunities in the area, about Fiji water (surprise! It's not $3 a bottle in Fiji!), about the history of the place and the various improvements it's had over its hundred-year-plus lifespan. Heck, they even seemed to instinctively understand that for us a $400k house was probably not a possibility - while we didn't talk hard numbers, they told us more than once to please be honest with them and it was okay if it just wasn't going to work on our budget. And when we left (with a promise to meet again next weekend with some wine from Sonoita), they told us flat out they'd love to sell the place to a couple like us.

But, probably come Sunday, I'm going to have to compose an email admitting that yes, we love the place like whoa, but no, it's just not going to happen without some kind of financial miracle. And I'm sure they'll be more than gracious about it, and we'll still have a few more lovely evenings in the place (they talked seriously about getting together a dinner party with some of the prominent folks in Bisbee where they'd host, Brian could cook, I could mix drinks, and we'd get to know all of them), and then eventually they'll find someone well-off who likes the place and can afford it, and they'll head to Fiji permanently, and we'll find some other perfectly nice place to rent while we work on paying off our debts and saving up for a down payment on a more appropriately middle-class dwelling wherever we end up buying.

But it was lovely to pretend for an evening that it was a possibility.

Comments

[one-bat.livejournal.com]

$400k is the price of a modest suburban house over here. That would work out to about US$370k. Is $400k really that much of a stretch?

[roseneko.livejournal.com]

Given that we're effectively on one income (I love working at the winery but the pay is crap) and we've got nothing saved for a down payment, yeah, it really is. The PITI (payment, interest, taxes, insurance) for a $400K house, on a 30 year mortgage at 5% interest and Bisbee's property tax rates, comes to almost $2550. That's significantly more than half of our monthly income right there, and doesn't include utilities and repairs. Plus we have a car payment, plus we're trying to pay off our credit cards, plus we'd like to maybe eat at a restaurant now and then...you see the problem. If we were to buy a house right now, the most we could reasonably afford to take out a loan for is half that price, and even then it'd be something of a stretch unless I could find full-time work.

The truth is, though, we're really pretty lucky. We've always been ahead of our age bracket in terms of income, but right now the majority of folks in our demographic (twentysomething, middle class, some college but no degree) are living with their parents and working part-time, if they're working at all. Brian's at least got a job that he likes that pays a (quite comfortable, beautiful chateaus on the hill aside) livable wage, and we can afford to let me dink around at a winery part-time while I waffle about writing and performing and whatnot. So I don't mean to sound like I'm complaining - to most people in our age group, homeownership would be a pipe dream. The sheer fact that it's an option for us (albeit probably not the best one right now) really shows how lucky we've been.

[cyranocyrano.livejournal.com]

Maybe this is where I should tell you to get over yourself, but I want to know what's really important and I think the world at large can suck it. Plus, I'm glad you're getting to enjoy the place even if it's in a bittersweet wistful sort of way.

[roseneko.livejournal.com]

*hug* You're a sweetheart, and thank you.

[jamesd.livejournal.com]

That's a pretty place alright. It frustrates me for several different reasons. I like living in the US, but can't. And I could afford to buy it, even with the 25% down payment required for UK mortgages and assuming a 6% interest rate (with no income tax relief for mortgage interest here). But I'm painfully close to being able to maintain my current low standard of living for the rest of my life if I couldn't ever work again. Buying a place at that price would blow that plan completely out of the water. A plan I've been saving more than 70% of my income for the last five years to realise.

So I'm buying something sensible, at less than 30% of the price, that needs fixing up, like installing double glazing and central heating. That'll cut my monthly outgoings and may take them low enough to hit that could live without ever working again target. Add a down payment sized inheritance in the next year or two, when that's finally resolved, more of the aggressive saving and I'll end up in a much nicer place and still meet my financial security objective.

Being sensible and prudent is frustrating.

For the place you want, ask the vendors if they need all the money up front or whether they would be willing to take half or two thirds up front and the rest over time, working with you to find what's affordable. It's not a good market for sellers and they might be tempted to find a way to make it work for people who love the place. Or just be up front with your situation and how much you love the place and see whether they are inclined to be helpful. They probably won't be, but it does no harm to allow room for good fortune to have a chance to work.

[roseneko.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I hear you on being sensible and prudent. Good for you on working so hard to reach your goals; I hope it works out well for you.

That's pretty much the plan at this point - we promised to send them an email with a summary of our financial situation, and that's what I'll do tomorrow. We do have one or two factors in our favor: the market (the place has been up for sale for almost a year now with no real interest), our being young and personable, and (now) the fact that the owners like us and know that we'd love the place every bit as much as they do. But I'm honestly not expecting anything to come of it - well-off they may be, but nobody's funding is unlimited, and they'd frankly be mad to accept what we're capable of offering for the place.

But hey - at least we get to have a party in it! I'm going to see about finagling invites for a couple of friends who've been listening to us go on about it for ages...let me know if you want one. ;)

[joyfulleigh.livejournal.com]

I wish you could afford it.

I did something similar with my dream house here. There was this house that just wasn't selling even after months and months on the market, and the house was AWESOME but we certainly didn't have the cash for it. I sent the owner an email telling her how much I loved it, telling her there's no way we could afford it ourselves, but that I wanted her to know that her house was beautiful and just keep the faith that it would sell eventually. She ended up inviting me over for tea! We chatted, I got to spend more time in the space and meet her geriatric but very sweet cat, and it was all and all just a lovely afternoon. They did eventually find a buyer. (Not us. We didn't magically come up with an extra 200K.) ~L.