missroserose | "Through the mist, through a wood, where within a haunted castle..."

So the rumor mill has it that Dick Cheney, Angel of the Bottomless Pit of Governmental Cronyism and Lord of All That Is War Profiteering, was not only in town a few days ago, but used a paltry percentage of his Halliburton-gotten gains to buy a house here on Douglas Island. I have no idea if he'll actually be living here, but given his fondness for staying in Undisclosed Locations, a house on an island in Southeast Alaska that's completely cut off from the major road system does seem a likely candidate.

Obviously the rumor mill wasn't specific as to which house that might have been, but I've come up with a pretty foolproof plan. See, I'm thinking I'll invent a little gizmo called a Demon Finder. It'd work kind of like a Geiger counter, except that it measures the free-floating particles of villainy in the air. Up until now there wouldn't have been much use for it locally - there are a good few folk in town who've become moderately wealthy by committing petty evils like building and renting out poor-quality housing or running no-tell motels - but I'm pretty sure the amount of pure, unrefined turpitude left by Mr. "I'm very proud of what we did" would drown out those remora fish in a second.

So, who's up for a good old-fashioned angry-mob-raising? I'm pretty sure Don Abel's has a supply of pitchforks, and we can improvise some torches. Given Juneau's plethora of musical talent, we might even be able to get a chorus to sing "Kill the Beast" - any volunteers?