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missroseroseIt was a pretty laid-back night at the Viking. Brian came along, so we didn't stay too late, but I at least got a little dancing in as well as a couple games of pool. Monica and Eric were there too, but no Lydia. Also, the Viking makes a horrendous vodka and cranberry - even when you ask for the good vodka, the cranberry juice is so watered down and over-sugared that it's frankly hardly worthy of the term; I guess Brian will have to find a new favorite drink if he comes again. But we had a decent time anyway.
Now for a bit of an admission. Earlier this week, I was having a conversation with a coworker of mine who's a very conservative thinker in some ways. I was telling him a bit about my completely passive-aggressive nonconfrontational aunt who can't deal with problems directly, and he started insisting that that was normal female behavior. I challenged that assumption by saying that it had far less to do with chromosomal aberrations than it did with a society that reinforced and encouraged such behavior in women, and he said something along the lines of "But most women just can't deal with things directly. That's why you're not really feminine, more some kind of hybrid..."
I realize he didn't intend it as an insult, but I ended up feeling rather offended. It wasn't a big enough deal to really bring up again, especially since I'm certain I'm not going to convince him otherwise, but I'll admit it bugged me.
So tonight, I related a shortened version of the event to the audience, asked them to be the judge, and sang Shania Twain's "Man, I Feel Like A Woman", dedicated to my coworker. It was...cathartic. Didn't hurt that there was a good audience, too - even though technically it wasn't my best job, I dare say I did pretty damn well on the performance aspect. I got a fair amount of applause, too, and a comment from the karaoke host: "You know, Rose, I saw you walking down the street the other day, and from a mile away I could tell that you were a woman." That made me laugh.
Now for a bit of an admission. Earlier this week, I was having a conversation with a coworker of mine who's a very conservative thinker in some ways. I was telling him a bit about my completely passive-aggressive nonconfrontational aunt who can't deal with problems directly, and he started insisting that that was normal female behavior. I challenged that assumption by saying that it had far less to do with chromosomal aberrations than it did with a society that reinforced and encouraged such behavior in women, and he said something along the lines of "But most women just can't deal with things directly. That's why you're not really feminine, more some kind of hybrid..."
I realize he didn't intend it as an insult, but I ended up feeling rather offended. It wasn't a big enough deal to really bring up again, especially since I'm certain I'm not going to convince him otherwise, but I'll admit it bugged me.
So tonight, I related a shortened version of the event to the audience, asked them to be the judge, and sang Shania Twain's "Man, I Feel Like A Woman", dedicated to my coworker. It was...cathartic. Didn't hurt that there was a good audience, too - even though technically it wasn't my best job, I dare say I did pretty damn well on the performance aspect. I got a fair amount of applause, too, and a comment from the karaoke host: "You know, Rose, I saw you walking down the street the other day, and from a mile away I could tell that you were a woman." That made me laugh.
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Date: 2008-08-26 06:03 pm (UTC)That's so weird about your coworker. Imagine the power one feels in being able to pronounce a whole other person "unusual, or atypical" because you don't fit their cookie-cutter image. You have power and intellect and the old-school style of mysogeny can't deal with that. This is one of the things that drives me bugfuck about right-wingers and/or evangelicals -- they feel empowered to judge everyone by their narrow views and if you don't conform, then you must be infirm in some way and in need of their guidance (or punishment, or you have oil they need to take). Effers.
Yep, no doubt about it -- you're all woman :)
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Date: 2008-08-26 06:10 pm (UTC)As for my coworker, even though we don't agree on a lot of things I respect him as a generally intelligent person. I just have this silly expectation that people will [a] always see things rationally and [b] adjust their assumptions about the world when contradictory evidence comes up. While the former might be true most of the time, there are certain things that folks just aren't rational about - their paradigms being one of them. It's far easier to dismiss contradictory evidence as "unusual, or atypical" than it is to think "Hey, maybe this assumption I've always operated with isn't correct..." I know I've probably done that. :)