missroserose | I think it sounded rather like a bra strap...

I've spent the last couple of days in a sort of haze. Not quite the doubt-fog that I was dealing with before; in fact, it almost seemed the opposite. I was becoming lost in my dream...I guess you could say I was daydreaming almost to the point of trying to forget where I am now. Which isn't healthy, either, though mildly more pleasant than not being able to see my dream in the first place. It's also understandable, I guess...I mean, what is there now? I'm living at the ends of the earth, I can't sing that well yet, until recently I wasn't making any money, my boyfriend is across the state, etc...admittedly, things are decent. I have a place to live, I have a job that didn't turn out to be quite as kid-centric as I'd thought it would, and I have someone available to give me voice lessons. But still, compared to my dream of being a star...there's a bit more glitter in the latter. So I've been kind of spaced out lately, trying to live in the (hopeful) future.

Well, something happened today that snapped me back to the present. Almost audibly.

I was talking to David, the library director, and I remembered to ask him how much they were paying me, this being my second day of work. (He hadn't remembered at the time how much they were paying the librarian I'm temporarily replacing.) He goes over to talk to one of the other librarians, the one who processed my form. He comes back...

DAVID: I'm sorry to say it's only $21 an hour.

ME: *blink* *blink* ...you're kidding, right?

DAVID: No.

ME: ...*snap*

DAVID: Are you okay with that? It's pretty standard for working here...

ME: Erm, yeah. I just hope I do my job well enough to earn it.

I'm not sure whether he was being sarcastic or whether he honestly thought that I'd expect more than that...Goddamn. This is the best-paying job I've ever had. Admittedly, it's only 25 hours a week, but I'll still be making more money than I was working 48 hours a week at a $10 an hour job.

Assuming I don't get fired for some reason or the budget doesn't get cut (always a possibility here), I've got it made for the next couple of months.

Suddenly I'm feeling much happier about living in the present moment.