...odd, how things go...
May. 29th, 2004 03:09 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
missroseroseI'm honestly not sure exactly how this happened, but my mother and I went from fighting each other over something stupid (again) to talking about the many things I'm afraid of. This might sound like an odd connection, but she was finally able to drop the sanctimonius "I'm always right" attitude long enough to see what was actually bothering me. So she had me write them all down in a list, and we talked about them. Mostly things like "I'm afraid of not having enough money", but also things like "I'm afraid of buying into our culture's values to the point where I devalue myself", and "I'm afraid of trying to do something I really love and failing".
We spent a good couple hours in discussion, got through about half the list, and then went and watched Six Feet Under on DVD. Great show, and my mother likes it too, though some of the same-sex affection throws her off a bit. It's not that she's against that sort of thing, but she didn't grow up with it, so it's a little strange to her. And she likes the characters, even if the show is a little...strange. But then, so is she. And so am I, I guess. In any case, she's enjoying it enough that we ended up staying up until 2 AM watching four more episodes. I was feeling much better about things by that time, and she hadn't (intentionally) stayed up that late in ages, so it was kind of fun to sit and watch and laugh and listen to me go off on my drug/sex education rant. =)
I have a new song I want to learn, but this one's going to take some work. The song is "Think of Me", from The Phantom of the Opera...yeah, that's the soundtrack that started it all. Well, this particular song is quite lovely, and it's going to take me a while to get all the intonation right...but more importantly, I'm going to have to learn to hit a high A. I'm pretty sure I can do it, as my mother says almost all sopranos can with a little training - it's the B's and C's that get you into trouble with your vocal cords if you overuse them. Of course, this means I'm going to have to swallow the grindstone, bite my pride and put my nose to the bullet and sit through some voice lessons. Yeah, I know, it's not that big of a deal and I've known from the start that I'd need them, but...I've been lucky in a lot of ways, talent-wise, to the point where I sometimes feel that if I can't do it right after the first few tries I can't do it at all. So for something that I literally can't do at the moment, well...it's going to take me a bit of discipline that I normally don't need and therefore am going to have to develop. Wish me luck.
I'm not even sure how coherent this all is...after all, it *is* 3 AM. But I know that I feel better about things, and I've got ahold of my dream again. I think for a while it felt like it was floating away...slippery little buggers, those dreams. They have a tendency to get lost in between the fears and the doubts and the great big ego...
We never said our love was ever-green/Or as unchanging as the sea/But if you can still remember/Stop and think of me...
We spent a good couple hours in discussion, got through about half the list, and then went and watched Six Feet Under on DVD. Great show, and my mother likes it too, though some of the same-sex affection throws her off a bit. It's not that she's against that sort of thing, but she didn't grow up with it, so it's a little strange to her. And she likes the characters, even if the show is a little...strange. But then, so is she. And so am I, I guess. In any case, she's enjoying it enough that we ended up staying up until 2 AM watching four more episodes. I was feeling much better about things by that time, and she hadn't (intentionally) stayed up that late in ages, so it was kind of fun to sit and watch and laugh and listen to me go off on my drug/sex education rant. =)
I have a new song I want to learn, but this one's going to take some work. The song is "Think of Me", from The Phantom of the Opera...yeah, that's the soundtrack that started it all. Well, this particular song is quite lovely, and it's going to take me a while to get all the intonation right...but more importantly, I'm going to have to learn to hit a high A. I'm pretty sure I can do it, as my mother says almost all sopranos can with a little training - it's the B's and C's that get you into trouble with your vocal cords if you overuse them. Of course, this means I'm going to have to swallow the grindstone, bite my pride and put my nose to the bullet and sit through some voice lessons. Yeah, I know, it's not that big of a deal and I've known from the start that I'd need them, but...I've been lucky in a lot of ways, talent-wise, to the point where I sometimes feel that if I can't do it right after the first few tries I can't do it at all. So for something that I literally can't do at the moment, well...it's going to take me a bit of discipline that I normally don't need and therefore am going to have to develop. Wish me luck.
I'm not even sure how coherent this all is...after all, it *is* 3 AM. But I know that I feel better about things, and I've got ahold of my dream again. I think for a while it felt like it was floating away...slippery little buggers, those dreams. They have a tendency to get lost in between the fears and the doubts and the great big ego...
We never said our love was ever-green/Or as unchanging as the sea/But if you can still remember/Stop and think of me...
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no subject
Date: 2004-05-29 02:00 pm (UTC)I'm glad to hear it. Good to know things are going better now than they were yesterday. =)
> [...] Wish me luck.
Luck! *Crosses fingers* *Knuckles break* Which reminds of another interesting story about Vito the Vacuous and his neighbor, Boris the Blech, but we'll have to save that for another time...
> I'm not even sure how coherent this all is...after all, it *is* 3 AM. But I know that I feel better about things, and I've got ahold of my dream again. I think for a while it felt like it was floating away...slippery little buggers, those dreams. They have a tendency to get lost in between the fears and the doubts and the great big ego...
It's pretty coherent, actually. And it's good to know you've got the dream back. If you have one, I suppose, you should really go after it with both arms and a barrel of arsenic -- y'know, just in case bad dudes are standing in your way. =)
--Brian
no subject
Date: 2004-05-31 12:14 am (UTC)Thanks again for the lovely time! ^_^