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missroseroseAfter Ryan and I got back from vacation, I went to visit Ian, and he made it fairly clear that he was interested in rekindling our relationship, once my "term of contract" with Ryan expires in May - apparently things with his elfchick aren't likely to last past the end the the semester. I'm sort of sorry about that, since I think they're a good couple in a lot of ways that he and I aren't, but her life is her life, and I'm not going to go and tell her that she has to date him, especially when he and I have broken things off more than once for multiple reasons.
So now, I have to figure out exactly how I feel about this. On the one hand, I see no particular reason to break things off with Ryan at the moment - we have our differences, sure *coughPUNCTUALITYcough*, but they're going fairly well nonetheless. We even managed to survive our first fight the other night, though admittedly it was mostly my fault. I keep forgetting that lack of food makes me grouchy...
But then, on the other hand, there's Ian. I still love the guy, and probably always will. We've always been excellent foils for each other, and I'm much more tempted by his offer than I want to admit. While our relationship was never quite as comfortable as Ryan's and mine, it wasn't usually boring, either...and damn, we had some great sex.
Interesting side note - I keep getting reminded of the difference between the two of them. It's actually quite funny, because Ryan's mature in a lot of ways that Ian's not (he doesn't let himself get embarrassed easily, he doesn't get possessive, he's good at avoiding emotional blackmail) and Ian's mature in a lot of ways that Ryan isn't (he's practical, he's better at handling money, he's usually on time, he usually tries to deal with his feelings instead of going into a depression).
In any case, when May comes around, I don't think it's likely that I'll be either renewing things with Ryan or going after Ian - I honestly don't have a clue where I'm going to be over the summer (current ideas include going back up to Barrow with my mother, staying here in the dorms, or moving down to Anchorage), and as much as I love both of them, I think now's a good time to think about what I want out of life. I can decide later who's going with me.
Not that I need to worry about it for now. I've got way too much other shit to worry about. Bloody schoolwork.
@->--Rose
So now, I have to figure out exactly how I feel about this. On the one hand, I see no particular reason to break things off with Ryan at the moment - we have our differences, sure *coughPUNCTUALITYcough*, but they're going fairly well nonetheless. We even managed to survive our first fight the other night, though admittedly it was mostly my fault. I keep forgetting that lack of food makes me grouchy...
But then, on the other hand, there's Ian. I still love the guy, and probably always will. We've always been excellent foils for each other, and I'm much more tempted by his offer than I want to admit. While our relationship was never quite as comfortable as Ryan's and mine, it wasn't usually boring, either...and damn, we had some great sex.
Interesting side note - I keep getting reminded of the difference between the two of them. It's actually quite funny, because Ryan's mature in a lot of ways that Ian's not (he doesn't let himself get embarrassed easily, he doesn't get possessive, he's good at avoiding emotional blackmail) and Ian's mature in a lot of ways that Ryan isn't (he's practical, he's better at handling money, he's usually on time, he usually tries to deal with his feelings instead of going into a depression).
In any case, when May comes around, I don't think it's likely that I'll be either renewing things with Ryan or going after Ian - I honestly don't have a clue where I'm going to be over the summer (current ideas include going back up to Barrow with my mother, staying here in the dorms, or moving down to Anchorage), and as much as I love both of them, I think now's a good time to think about what I want out of life. I can decide later who's going with me.
Not that I need to worry about it for now. I've got way too much other shit to worry about. Bloody schoolwork.
@->--Rose
Hello rose
Date: 2004-03-25 01:04 pm (UTC)Well wanded to see USA anyhow. But it's nice to have change read students stress from that continent.
-Paddington-