A midnight whine at 10:17 PM

[missroserose]

...and now, for the other half of the emotional swing.

Ian is here at home with his lady friend, currently occupying the bedroom. While this isn't bothering me so much on a possessive level with him anymore, I *am* feeling rather shut out of things. It doesn't help that I was supposed to be out tonight, but Ryan fell through on plans. As cold as it sounds, it seems that for a while I've had this expectation in the back of my mind that "I won't be alone so long as Ian's here - I always have him for company." Yeah, well, I guess I don't, anymore. Not that I begrudge him his time with her; it's just that I really hate this sudden feeling of being on my own.

I guess I still have a lot of unresolved issues about abandonment and being alone and stuff like that. I really hate emotional issues...they're a pain in the arse to try and work out, and you're never quite sure when one's going to come back and bite you in said arse when you least expect it.

This is the problem with only having one or two friends you're not sleeping with - it seems that on nights when you really need to talk to someone, they're not around. And since the person I *am* sleeping with kindly decided to make himself unavailable tonight, I guess it's just me and my feelings tonight. I wonder if I've got enough emotional baggage that they'll start charging me extra at the airport yet...

"I'm seeing this girl and she just might be out of her mind/She's got baggage and it's all the emotional kind/She talks about closure and that validation bit/I don't mean to be insensitive, but I really hate that shit..."

Comments

[moonwick.livejournal.com]

The real problem with all that baggage will be getting it through the metal detector. Nevermind trying to cram it into the overhead bins...

On a good note..

[tempest-x.livejournal.com]

If I have Ryan pegged correctly, he probably has his own issues, perhaps they'll (yours and his) will be all kindly and compatible...

Re: On a good note..

[roseneko.livejournal.com]

Clarify?

Re: On a good note..

[errant-variable.livejournal.com]

Theorizing: he has abandonment issues as well and they cropped up about the time you started getting clingy to me? You dont often make effort to come back to someone you think abandoned you, so perhaps try and be the initiative in this one.

Re: On a good note..

[tempest-x.livejournal.com]

People have problems. This is a simple statement of fact. Everyone has them. Now it seems to me the trick in a successful relationship isn't so much overcoming those specific problems (or issues if you prefer), rather it's in finding someone you're not only interested in, but someone who's own problems are compatible with your own.

It seems most of the time when people's personal issues start conflicting with their relationships, it's because these problems usually conflict with their partner's problems. This is mostly just an observation of a general nature, I can go into specifics, but I won't here...

Oh, on a completely unrelated side note, would you pass on an invitation to Ryan, Hill (who you may or may not know) and I get together and play Magic from time to time, we game at other times (he's part of that gaming group I told you about). Well, I've been thinking about Ryan thought I disliked him so much. I think perhaps my reactions to him have been harsh in the past, where I did not mean them to be. So what this boils down to is I was going to invite him to play with us if he feels so inclined. If so I can give details at that point.