Anger and sorrow

[missroserose]

Why is it that some people can piss you off to the point where you want to hit them in the place it hurts most, just so you can laugh when they double over in pain? Why is it that we let ourselves become vulnerable to the point where with as simple an action as hanging up the phone, someone can make you want to stab them through with a knife? How did I become this pathetic?

The world would be a helluva lot simpler if we all got sterilized and remained fuckbuddies. No long-term relationship bullshit. No regrets over roads not taken. No children to clutter up the picture (and our planet). Just free love, good sex, and no hard feelings if one or both people want to go their seperate ways. Unfortunately, evolution just hasn't wired us like that.

Am learning of the joys of Irish Cream. Not that I'm getting drunk, or even tipsy...less than half a glass of a 34 proof drink would hardly do that even to me. It's a soothing drink, however...being a cat, I've always liked cream. Especially when sweetened and slightly alcoholic. Makes your throat a bit raw, though.

What do you do when someone wants more from you than you can give them? How do you tell them no?

@->--Rose

Comments

[eventhewaves.livejournal.com]

When somebody wants more from you than you can give them, you tell them "no" by telling them... no. You just sit down and lay it out, no matter how difficult it is, no matter what kind of hurt it might cause. Seems kind of callous and senseless to put it that way, probably, but... wouldn't anything else really just stretch the anger and the agony and the bullshit out for all parties?

Here's the closest thing to a *HUG* I can give you, because of the whole distance thing, if that's of any comfort. And if you need to talk, well... you've got my number, and I'm available right until I leave for class at about eight.

Apologies...

[errant-variable.livejournal.com]

In the even you look here first.

I know why hanging up pisses you off so much, which is why I try not to do it... I heard something best described as either "fine" or "bye" and then dead silence, which sounded like you had gotten pissed with my curtness and cut the connection off... I was a bit too quick to hang up since the person whose phone I was using was rather impatient to get back on it.

How do you deal with it? Perhaps come on home and beat on me some. You have a lot of pain built up that you arent doing anything about... its not a happy thing. Its what kept us from solidity for the last 2 years, on both of our parts. Alcohol doesnt help much either, from my experience... then again, peppermint schnapps doesnt seem like it would do much for the soothing end of things.

As for telling someone no... I know that you arent willing to give me all that I want. You stayed with me through 2 years of the same, I owe you a bit in return now that our positions are reversed... and even if I didnt owe you anything I still want to be here, as much as you are willing for me to be present. I dont want to be forgotten.

The world is just so fucked up, does it matter?

[(Anonymous)]

Hi Rose
I got time to read your journal again. Getting computer time, finding the sight, and being coherent all at once! I feel like I have accomplished something great! and all I did was try to open Internet explore today and my dad's computer crashed. I don't know what I did, but after rebooting and the computer cussing at me I eventually got it to work.
I was getting bord of life in my cabin, so I moved my self and Squeek over to my parents house since they are both gone for the month, thou my dad will be home in a week and Mom will visit for a couple days later next week, I just wanted a change of seanry, and I am hoping the biger house will give Squeek more excersise and her leg will be bettor. She seams happey althow she didn't like the 45minute car ride, only 30 miles, but staying under the spead limmite and trafic and I had to return a DVD so it took longer.

OK enouf of my life, some of my reactions to your latest bloog intrys. Please bear with the spelling, I know its tarabull, but the best I can do.
I do think it is neet that I can get on her and read your log when ever I can get the computer working in some simblance of corectly.
Have I told you latly that I love the way you actuly think about stuff, life dosn't just pass you by. Most people don't think about life, they just live it. Enjoying life is an important part of being happy, this is lost on many people so I am gad you can understand.
Unfortunatly getting to know some one means you have to learn what pisses them off, and how they are hert. It is loving them that keeps us from taking advantage of this power all the time.
It is always amazing to me to see just how similar love and hate are to people. On a side note have you ever thought on the problims of mistaking love for hate, and how people dwell on hate more than love? it can be rather depressing, well any thing can be depressing if one thinks to much on it. I try not to think so much it depresses me about the stupidity of humans in general, I mean it isn't good to be depressed, but it is a fine line and this one is of the opinion that every one should think a little more about what they can do to help society, or just why it is the way it is.
I hope the life style thing works out.
Love Ryan

Oh, now this is what I mean by good bloggin! ;)

[(Anonymous)]

All the players checking in. And who might I be you wonder? Well, let's leave that a mystery just for intrigue, 'kay? =)

"You have a lot of pain built up that you arent doing anything about..."

This does bleed through subtly in the entries, so perhaps it is something to look at. Rose, you are clearly very thoughtful, very intelligent, and a wonderful woman is waiting to bloom from within all that you are.

Don't settle, and go for your dream. Now if you don't know what your dream is, well that is another matter entirely. ;) But drama only feeds the ego, (oh wait, it makes great blogs too!) and your spirit is what is crying for flight. Just my .02. =)

California Poppy

Re: Oh, now this is what I mean by good bloggin! ;)

[errant-variable.livejournal.com]

Californians, eh? *ponder* Fraid the only one I can lock down as being Californian is my uncle, and that damn well not be him. Otherwise... is Brian already cultivating a second personality for when he arrives in the land of blonde hair and skimpy clothing?

Points to ponder... is California famous for its beautiful women because there is a high relative % of them or because there is the normal % but so many people? If the latter, do the other (non-eye-candy) types go to the beach often, or do they make the world a better place for those who place value primarily on skin and appearance and find entertainment elsewhere?

As for the Irish Cream... viva Baileys! The other stuffs have the hot-motor-oil taste that I am quickly starting to associate with hard liquors.