(no subject)
Jun. 2nd, 2004 12:00 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
missroseroseFog has rolled in. I can't see much farther than a block in any direction. Not that there's much to see.
Fog seems to have rolled in on my mind, too. After a weekend of sun where I felt closer than ever to achieving my dream someday, the fog of doubt has rolled over, covering everything like a thick blanket.
How close am I, really, to achieving this dream? I can sing a bit, but not that well, and do I really have the courage to go through years of lessons? Is there really that big of a chance of my becoming a star singer/actor? Where am I going to find opportunities to audition for musicals when I'm living in Alaska? How can I move someplace where I know no one and avoid the incredible depression that usually hits me? What if I become another wannabe performer who's continually bitter about how she never got the breaks? What if The Phantom of the Opera closes before I ever have the chance to sing the part of Christine that I so desperately want to do? Worse, what if the part opens, I audition, and someone else gets it? How likely is it that I'll ever even be able to break into the field? How will I survive if I never do?
The problem with knowing what you're here to do is the worry that if you never make it, your life will have been relatively pointless...
...what if I end up as just another person with a pointless life?
Fog seems to have rolled in on my mind, too. After a weekend of sun where I felt closer than ever to achieving my dream someday, the fog of doubt has rolled over, covering everything like a thick blanket.
How close am I, really, to achieving this dream? I can sing a bit, but not that well, and do I really have the courage to go through years of lessons? Is there really that big of a chance of my becoming a star singer/actor? Where am I going to find opportunities to audition for musicals when I'm living in Alaska? How can I move someplace where I know no one and avoid the incredible depression that usually hits me? What if I become another wannabe performer who's continually bitter about how she never got the breaks? What if The Phantom of the Opera closes before I ever have the chance to sing the part of Christine that I so desperately want to do? Worse, what if the part opens, I audition, and someone else gets it? How likely is it that I'll ever even be able to break into the field? How will I survive if I never do?
The problem with knowing what you're here to do is the worry that if you never make it, your life will have been relatively pointless...
...what if I end up as just another person with a pointless life?
