missroserose | E-mail based brainwashing

Over the many years I've had my Hotmail account, I've had many a phishing spam land in my junk mail folder. A great many take the form of spoof emails from "Lloyd's Bank" or "HSBC" or "National Bank of Scotland", telling me that my accounts have been frozen and of course I should log in and fix them. Obviously, they're easy to ignore since I had no idea that any of these banks even existed prior to receiving spam about them. But what's odd (or, perhaps, smart) about them is that they don't arrive in a torrent like the usual penis-enlargement or mortgage-refinance ilk - instead, they come in a trickle, once or twice a week. Additionally, they appear to be the most persistent; almost all the other spam I used to get in that account has eventually stopped, but these still pop up regularly, just like they've been doing for nearly a decade now.

So I've decided that they're not spam at all. They are, in fact, a paper (electronic?) trail left by my alter-ego, whose career as a foreign spy is hidden by her glamorous jet-setting lifestyle that takes her around Europe and perhaps occasionally into the Middle East as well; alas, she was exiled from the Americas for some minor misunderstanding involving a former Secretary of State, a pair of handcuffs, and an industrial-size tub of peanut butter. Needless to say, financing her career requires moving money around in multiple offshore accounts, and perhaps she is less vigilant about her finances than she should be, so occasionally she bounces cheques or forgets to close an account, thus prompting the "Your account is frozen" emails that show up.

That would certainly explain why I always feel like I'm being cheated when I have to settle for the less luxurious of a set of options due to cost...