Review, plus snark!
Apr. 29th, 2010 11:49 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
missroseroseFire in the Ocean: A New Testament by Curly Raphino
I received a copy of this book through the Goodreads First Reads program, and I was moderately excited about it. I'm a big fan of reinterpretations of mythologies, especially in ways that bring together the common archetypes and weave them into something new. I also enjoy speculative fiction, and thought that the premise sounded interesting.
Unfortunately, my hopes were rather dashed within the first few chapters. Not only are the mythological elements unrecognizable and the story unengaging, but the level of writing on display could be charitably described as "amateur". Typos and misused words abound far more than I'd expect from a published work, but beyond that, the author spends far too much time describing his settings, his characters' feelings, and his overarching philosophy in almost pornographic detail, none of which remotely advances the story or even provides information of interest. Not only does this make the text sound incredibly pretentious, but (as a result) the characters never really feel like real people with thoughts and motivations of their own. When they interact, it simply feels like cheap melodrama with nothing more than the most superficial of motivations on any side.
In the interests of full disclosure, I will state that I only read the first fifty pages, so my review can (and should) only be taken to reflect my reactions to that section. Based on what I've read, though, I would suggest that the author take to heart the advice to "show, don't tell". We understand that this world and everything in it is perfect and beautiful; perhaps you can find a way to show it to us without describing every vivacious emerald leaf and elegantly-embroidered-with-pure-gold corner of it? Similarly, remember that what makes the story interesting at its core is the characters populating it. Hearing their reactions to their surroundings, as tempered by their own individual experiences and prejudices, gives us far more information (and interest) than simply describing things objectively. And then forget the setting - how much attention does a person pay to their surroundings when something upsetting is going on in their life? Give us some insight into who they are, and we'll be far more interested than simply hearing about how they were feeling.
I hate to be so harsh on this book, as the author obviously cares about the story and is very excited to tell it. But frankly, I found the stylistic issues such a big turnoff that I just can't make myself want to read it. D
You have no idea how difficult it was to keep that review from turning into one huge snarkfest. But, as I'd been (sort of) compensated for writing it, I felt that I should keep it professional, and constructive, and all that. However, it's been written and posted on GoodReads, and this is my personal blog, so now I can unleash the snark!
Seriously, folks. This book was almost tailor-written to be internet-snarked at. The following are actual, unedited excerpts, all punctuation and vocabulary choices left intact:
The narrator, describing his first sexual experience: This eye-opening clarity started to take control of me from the inside out and sat me on a platform beyond my years and comprehension. Everything was compressed and had intensified to the thousandth power. I felt as if... I was losing the very essence of my being, while ingesting the life-bearing soul of another.
As my friend Adam put it, "Pretentious sex is pretentious. And that's not a word I use very often."
A description of a large amphitheater: Topped with a cosmic view of the open sky, its solid marble fabrication was heavily embellished with vivacious, leafy green emeralds and abnormally, oversized cherry-red rubies. Large sculptured columns upheld and beautified the Great Structure, giving it a classic, primeval appeal - a look that was fetching for a construction of its caliber.
I'm counting at least three horribly-misused words in that paragraph. What did "vivacious" and "primeval" ever do to you, that you must torture them so? And "solid marble fabrication"? Oxymoron much?
It was always easy for Melusina to know when the King of the sea was angry; he grew speechless, his facial expressions were intense and powerful and then he would change into a large angry waterspout only to splat onto the floor like a cup of spilled water simply before seeping through a small opening in the ground to make his exit.
At first I thought that was supposed to be metaphorical, but it's either one of the most tortured metaphors I've ever come across or one of the most ridiculous (and un-regal) examples of metamorphic powers ever.
There was an awkward piercing silence that resonated loudly in the air immediately afterwards and it begged to be overpowered by anything remotely audible.
Somebody needs to find this man's thesaurus and bury it in a tar pit, shortly before replacing it with a copy of The Elements of Style. Fo' serious, yo.
I could go on, but I think you all get the point. (Unless you all want me to post some more gems...I might have to keep reading to find more, but in the service of Internet Snark I'm willing to make such a sacrifice.)
I received a copy of this book through the Goodreads First Reads program, and I was moderately excited about it. I'm a big fan of reinterpretations of mythologies, especially in ways that bring together the common archetypes and weave them into something new. I also enjoy speculative fiction, and thought that the premise sounded interesting.
Unfortunately, my hopes were rather dashed within the first few chapters. Not only are the mythological elements unrecognizable and the story unengaging, but the level of writing on display could be charitably described as "amateur". Typos and misused words abound far more than I'd expect from a published work, but beyond that, the author spends far too much time describing his settings, his characters' feelings, and his overarching philosophy in almost pornographic detail, none of which remotely advances the story or even provides information of interest. Not only does this make the text sound incredibly pretentious, but (as a result) the characters never really feel like real people with thoughts and motivations of their own. When they interact, it simply feels like cheap melodrama with nothing more than the most superficial of motivations on any side.
In the interests of full disclosure, I will state that I only read the first fifty pages, so my review can (and should) only be taken to reflect my reactions to that section. Based on what I've read, though, I would suggest that the author take to heart the advice to "show, don't tell". We understand that this world and everything in it is perfect and beautiful; perhaps you can find a way to show it to us without describing every vivacious emerald leaf and elegantly-embroidered-with-pure-gold corner of it? Similarly, remember that what makes the story interesting at its core is the characters populating it. Hearing their reactions to their surroundings, as tempered by their own individual experiences and prejudices, gives us far more information (and interest) than simply describing things objectively. And then forget the setting - how much attention does a person pay to their surroundings when something upsetting is going on in their life? Give us some insight into who they are, and we'll be far more interested than simply hearing about how they were feeling.
I hate to be so harsh on this book, as the author obviously cares about the story and is very excited to tell it. But frankly, I found the stylistic issues such a big turnoff that I just can't make myself want to read it. D
You have no idea how difficult it was to keep that review from turning into one huge snarkfest. But, as I'd been (sort of) compensated for writing it, I felt that I should keep it professional, and constructive, and all that. However, it's been written and posted on GoodReads, and this is my personal blog, so now I can unleash the snark!
Seriously, folks. This book was almost tailor-written to be internet-snarked at. The following are actual, unedited excerpts, all punctuation and vocabulary choices left intact:
The narrator, describing his first sexual experience: This eye-opening clarity started to take control of me from the inside out and sat me on a platform beyond my years and comprehension. Everything was compressed and had intensified to the thousandth power. I felt as if... I was losing the very essence of my being, while ingesting the life-bearing soul of another.
As my friend Adam put it, "Pretentious sex is pretentious. And that's not a word I use very often."
A description of a large amphitheater: Topped with a cosmic view of the open sky, its solid marble fabrication was heavily embellished with vivacious, leafy green emeralds and abnormally, oversized cherry-red rubies. Large sculptured columns upheld and beautified the Great Structure, giving it a classic, primeval appeal - a look that was fetching for a construction of its caliber.
I'm counting at least three horribly-misused words in that paragraph. What did "vivacious" and "primeval" ever do to you, that you must torture them so? And "solid marble fabrication"? Oxymoron much?
It was always easy for Melusina to know when the King of the sea was angry; he grew speechless, his facial expressions were intense and powerful and then he would change into a large angry waterspout only to splat onto the floor like a cup of spilled water simply before seeping through a small opening in the ground to make his exit.
At first I thought that was supposed to be metaphorical, but it's either one of the most tortured metaphors I've ever come across or one of the most ridiculous (and un-regal) examples of metamorphic powers ever.
There was an awkward piercing silence that resonated loudly in the air immediately afterwards and it begged to be overpowered by anything remotely audible.
Somebody needs to find this man's thesaurus and bury it in a tar pit, shortly before replacing it with a copy of The Elements of Style. Fo' serious, yo.
I could go on, but I think you all get the point. (Unless you all want me to post some more gems...I might have to keep reading to find more, but in the service of Internet Snark I'm willing to make such a sacrifice.)
