...

Please God let this be a satirical piece that got picked up by the major news wires.

Please.

ETA: Further Googling turned up another article with more detailed information that doesn't trip as many of the "satire" alarms. What this says about American culture, though, I'm somewhat less pleased to ponder.

...

Please God let this be a satirical piece that got picked up by the major news wires.

Please.

ETA: Further Googling turned up another article with more detailed information that doesn't trip as many of the "satire" alarms. What this says about American culture, though, I'm somewhat less pleased to ponder.