Hares and hairs, March and grey...
Mar. 21st, 2006 01:27 pmLast night, when I looked in the mirror, I noticed something distressing. I have two grey hairs now.
It's not the first time I've found a grey hair, admittedly. I had my first one when I was 19 due to the incredibly stressful job I was working (and quit shortly thereafter - I figured getting a grey hair at 19 was a bad sign). I plucked it out and saved it, along with one of my regular hairs, just for comparison. However, this is the first time I've seen more than one (and the first time I've even seen that one again).
I'm not even sure why it's so distressing. Partially because I still think of myself as pretty young (I mean, heck, I'm not even 23 until this July), partially because it's a pretty undeniable sign that I will, in fact, get old someday...though I can still delude myself for a while into thinking that Time will make an exception for me and I'll be young forever - after all, isn't that what youth is all about?
I think mostly what's bothering me about it, however, is that it's a symbol of adulthood - which I know I've achieved for quite some time now, but still feels pretty new. After all, in addition to having a stable home and boyfriend and cats, I've got a new car now that I'm making payments on - that all sounds pretty adult to me.
Which isn't to say that I mind adulthood. Quite the opposite - the fears and restrictions of my teenage years are loosened or gone, I feel free to make my own choices and take responsibility for my own life, and I get nifty things like cats and new cars to play with (not to mention steady income sources). I'm not even sure why I have so much trouble thinking of myself as an adult. Maybe it's just that the majority of my life has been spent as a non-adult in one form or another.
In other news, it's looking like spring actually is here (miracle of miracles). The sun's out, it's at least a good forty degrees outside, the snow is all melting, and I was able to go outside without my coat (comfortably!) for the first time in a while. The weather forecast says tomorrow should be more of the same. I could certainly get used to this. Especially since today I got to drive with my new sunroof open for the very first time. =D
I'm going to visit my mother in Anchorage this weekend, and I'm starting to feel very glad that I am - this kind of weather invariably makes me want to go places, so having a recent memory of airport hassles and the like should help me feel content where I am this spring.
It's not the first time I've found a grey hair, admittedly. I had my first one when I was 19 due to the incredibly stressful job I was working (and quit shortly thereafter - I figured getting a grey hair at 19 was a bad sign). I plucked it out and saved it, along with one of my regular hairs, just for comparison. However, this is the first time I've seen more than one (and the first time I've even seen that one again).
I'm not even sure why it's so distressing. Partially because I still think of myself as pretty young (I mean, heck, I'm not even 23 until this July), partially because it's a pretty undeniable sign that I will, in fact, get old someday...though I can still delude myself for a while into thinking that Time will make an exception for me and I'll be young forever - after all, isn't that what youth is all about?
I think mostly what's bothering me about it, however, is that it's a symbol of adulthood - which I know I've achieved for quite some time now, but still feels pretty new. After all, in addition to having a stable home and boyfriend and cats, I've got a new car now that I'm making payments on - that all sounds pretty adult to me.
Which isn't to say that I mind adulthood. Quite the opposite - the fears and restrictions of my teenage years are loosened or gone, I feel free to make my own choices and take responsibility for my own life, and I get nifty things like cats and new cars to play with (not to mention steady income sources). I'm not even sure why I have so much trouble thinking of myself as an adult. Maybe it's just that the majority of my life has been spent as a non-adult in one form or another.
In other news, it's looking like spring actually is here (miracle of miracles). The sun's out, it's at least a good forty degrees outside, the snow is all melting, and I was able to go outside without my coat (comfortably!) for the first time in a while. The weather forecast says tomorrow should be more of the same. I could certainly get used to this. Especially since today I got to drive with my new sunroof open for the very first time. =D
I'm going to visit my mother in Anchorage this weekend, and I'm starting to feel very glad that I am - this kind of weather invariably makes me want to go places, so having a recent memory of airport hassles and the like should help me feel content where I am this spring.