Home again, home again, jiggety jig...
Dec. 30th, 2003 11:26 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
missroseroseWell, I am indeed home again, or at least as close as I have to it, at the moment. At least it's not filled with conservative Mormons I'm related to who are winking and nudging me to convert and get married like my cousin did. *shudder*
On the other hand, I've discovered that when you have roommates, it's not necessarily safe to grab something out of the fridge and drink it without careful examination first. I poured myself a glass of milk and downed about three gulps before the fact that it was sour registered, after which I immediately spat it out into the sink. Blech. At least, I'm hoping it was sour milk, and not somebody's science project.
My eBay orders have all come in while I was gone, including a very pretty white nightgown set and a black velvet peasant skirt that I love. It's very thick and warm and it looks lovely. Now I just have to find a top to go with it...*flounces off back to eBay*
Thought inspired by my recent view into a Mormon family's pre-nuptials - anybody that preaches no-sex-before-marriage religion should be exposed to the company of two affianced members of that religion during the several days leading up to their marriage. I mean, I learned at 14 that it wasn't always okay to sit on my boyfriend's lap in front of other people. You'd think that it would follow that you shouldn't be attempting to inhabit the same clothes...
On a slightly more serious note, I've been continuing to think about my life, and a lot of the things in it right now. One of the things that was prompted by visiting my aunt and uncle was a reflection on how my life might have been different if I'd had a stable father figure throughout my childhood. My dad was a great father up until I got to be a teenager - once I started arguing with him, however, things sort of disintegrated, especially since that was about the time my parents divorced. As things ended up, I've seen him about twice in the past three years, and I'm perfectly happy with keeping it that way. But I sometimes wonder how I would be different if my father had been, well...someone I could respect.
As it is...if I heard from someone that he'd died a couple of days ago, I don't think I'd be all that upset. I know that's got to sound like a horrible thing to say about your own father, but, well...it's what I feel. I'm not necessarily proud of it, but it's the truth. At least he never abused me or anything like that.
So I suppose, to start the list of things that I want for my future, one of them would be a stable spouse. Male or female doesn't matter to me so much, but I do want someone that I love, who would love me and stand by me, and any kids we might have. Because on the off chance that I do have a kid or two, I don't want them to go through what I did, and I certainly don't want to have to raise a child alone. The fact that my mother managed to raise my brother and I so well is one of the reasons that I respect her so much.
Another thing to add to that list would be a home. Right now I'm moving around a lot, which is fine at this stage in my life, but I can see from here that eventually it's going to get tiring to never really have a stable home. I'm not sure yet where I want this theoretical stable home to be, but I know that in the future I'd like to have a place to come back to that feels like it's mine, and not just a place that I'm staying. It doesn't have to be a huge house, or anything like that; an apartment would be fine, just so long as it's someplace that belongs to me, and whomever else I decide to share it with.
Hm...a home, and someone stable to share it with. Pretty big aspirations for a 20 year old, but I've got the rest of my life to find them. Might as well start now...
@->--Rose
On the other hand, I've discovered that when you have roommates, it's not necessarily safe to grab something out of the fridge and drink it without careful examination first. I poured myself a glass of milk and downed about three gulps before the fact that it was sour registered, after which I immediately spat it out into the sink. Blech. At least, I'm hoping it was sour milk, and not somebody's science project.
My eBay orders have all come in while I was gone, including a very pretty white nightgown set and a black velvet peasant skirt that I love. It's very thick and warm and it looks lovely. Now I just have to find a top to go with it...*flounces off back to eBay*
Thought inspired by my recent view into a Mormon family's pre-nuptials - anybody that preaches no-sex-before-marriage religion should be exposed to the company of two affianced members of that religion during the several days leading up to their marriage. I mean, I learned at 14 that it wasn't always okay to sit on my boyfriend's lap in front of other people. You'd think that it would follow that you shouldn't be attempting to inhabit the same clothes...
On a slightly more serious note, I've been continuing to think about my life, and a lot of the things in it right now. One of the things that was prompted by visiting my aunt and uncle was a reflection on how my life might have been different if I'd had a stable father figure throughout my childhood. My dad was a great father up until I got to be a teenager - once I started arguing with him, however, things sort of disintegrated, especially since that was about the time my parents divorced. As things ended up, I've seen him about twice in the past three years, and I'm perfectly happy with keeping it that way. But I sometimes wonder how I would be different if my father had been, well...someone I could respect.
As it is...if I heard from someone that he'd died a couple of days ago, I don't think I'd be all that upset. I know that's got to sound like a horrible thing to say about your own father, but, well...it's what I feel. I'm not necessarily proud of it, but it's the truth. At least he never abused me or anything like that.
So I suppose, to start the list of things that I want for my future, one of them would be a stable spouse. Male or female doesn't matter to me so much, but I do want someone that I love, who would love me and stand by me, and any kids we might have. Because on the off chance that I do have a kid or two, I don't want them to go through what I did, and I certainly don't want to have to raise a child alone. The fact that my mother managed to raise my brother and I so well is one of the reasons that I respect her so much.
Another thing to add to that list would be a home. Right now I'm moving around a lot, which is fine at this stage in my life, but I can see from here that eventually it's going to get tiring to never really have a stable home. I'm not sure yet where I want this theoretical stable home to be, but I know that in the future I'd like to have a place to come back to that feels like it's mine, and not just a place that I'm staying. It doesn't have to be a huge house, or anything like that; an apartment would be fine, just so long as it's someplace that belongs to me, and whomever else I decide to share it with.
Hm...a home, and someone stable to share it with. Pretty big aspirations for a 20 year old, but I've got the rest of my life to find them. Might as well start now...
@->--Rose
