Hmmmm. I've been reading Grit by Angela Duckworth (I'm not done yet, but slowly... slowly... closing in on the end) and one thing she talks a lot about is the fixed vs. growth mindset, and in the context of family dynamics, the importance of warm, respectful parents, but also ones who have "demands" (which I think is maybe better read as expectations) - things like, they are encouraging and loving and treat you as a real human being with your own wants and needs, but they also don't just cave to your every whim, and they enforce the family rules.
Anyway, along this track, I wonder if the same can be said for relating to toxic people; people get the "warm and respectful" part of interacting with others generally, but seem to fall apart on the "demanding" anything of them. (i.e. "This behaviour is unacceptable to me, and a condition of our spending time together is that you not engage in it", but not actually enforcing it, or even directly saying such a thing.)
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branchandroot
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Date: 2017-04-10 05:36 pm (UTC)Anyway, along this track, I wonder if the same can be said for relating to toxic people; people get the "warm and respectful" part of interacting with others generally, but seem to fall apart on the "demanding" anything of them. (i.e. "This behaviour is unacceptable to me, and a condition of our spending time together is that you not engage in it", but not actually enforcing it, or even directly saying such a thing.)
Also, hey, I'm finally doing my port-over. :/