Odd week...
Aug. 3rd, 2007 08:11 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
missroseroseIt's been kind of an odd week. Mood-wise, I've been swinging fairly dramatically from "I feel happy!" to "Meh, things're okay". (This might have something to do with the weather - the sun's been playing hide-and-seek most of the week.) Tuesday morning I woke up with a mild hangover, despite having drunk almost nothing the day before. And Tuesday was also the day I found out that an acquaintance of mine had died of a heart attack, at 31.
I wouldn't say that I'm incredibly upset about it - we weren't particularly close, and in fact had barely talked over the last couple years. Mostly we knew each other from classes we'd taken together back in college and mutual acquaintances; however, none of said mutual acquaintances are what I'd call members of my inner social circle (and I'm not trying to be elitist here; I just don't have many close friends, and I'm not a big one for going out to parties and the like, so the only folk I see regularly are the ones I'm particularly close to). So I guess I'm insulated from the general group grieving and such, which contributes to the not-particularly-upsetness. Most of my feelings on the subject have been something along the lines of puzzlement; while his death was perhaps not as surprising as some other friends' of mine might have been (he was a smoker, overweight, and had various health issues), 31 is still a pretty darn young age to die. And it doubly sucks because he and his fianceé (another acquaintance of mine) were planning to marry soon. If it were me that happened to, I'd probably be pretty annoyed - maybe not because I was missing my wedding (I'd like to think I wouldn't care about that so much once I'm, y'know, dead), but because Brian would be left behind. And I'm pretty sure he'd still care quite a bit.
So I dunno. I'm very sorry to hear he's dead, even if we weren't close. But I think most of my real feelings on the subject are more self-centered - something along the lines of "I'm too young to have people I used to hang out with dying!" (I guess that kind of says something about me.) It's also been a bit of a paradigm shift, really - I'm 24, and supposedly in that stage where I'm young and free and completely in denial about the fact that I or anyone I know will ever grow old and die. So I have faith in the human ability to stave off death through medicine and healthy eating and whatnot, and completely forget about that last stage of life - which, in the immortal words of Dr. House, "In case any of you missed that class in med school, that one's untreatable."
I guess maybe I should make a bit more of an effort to remember that, in order to better value the time I have. Unfortunately, denial seems to be the natural state of the human animal...
And just for the heck of it, I'm participating in a pay-it-forward thingy. It works as follows: You offer to send a handmade gift (note that "handmade" in this context simply means something you make yourself - a CD, an icon, a piece of writing, etc. - it doesn't have to be particularly craft-y, although crafts are fine too) to the first three people who respond to this post in the affirmative. If you like you can also leave a hint (favorite animal, type of music, something to base the work on). You will receive your gift within 365 days (hopefully a bit sooner). The only obligation is to pay it forward by posting a similar agreement on your journal.
I wouldn't say that I'm incredibly upset about it - we weren't particularly close, and in fact had barely talked over the last couple years. Mostly we knew each other from classes we'd taken together back in college and mutual acquaintances; however, none of said mutual acquaintances are what I'd call members of my inner social circle (and I'm not trying to be elitist here; I just don't have many close friends, and I'm not a big one for going out to parties and the like, so the only folk I see regularly are the ones I'm particularly close to). So I guess I'm insulated from the general group grieving and such, which contributes to the not-particularly-upsetness. Most of my feelings on the subject have been something along the lines of puzzlement; while his death was perhaps not as surprising as some other friends' of mine might have been (he was a smoker, overweight, and had various health issues), 31 is still a pretty darn young age to die. And it doubly sucks because he and his fianceé (another acquaintance of mine) were planning to marry soon. If it were me that happened to, I'd probably be pretty annoyed - maybe not because I was missing my wedding (I'd like to think I wouldn't care about that so much once I'm, y'know, dead), but because Brian would be left behind. And I'm pretty sure he'd still care quite a bit.
So I dunno. I'm very sorry to hear he's dead, even if we weren't close. But I think most of my real feelings on the subject are more self-centered - something along the lines of "I'm too young to have people I used to hang out with dying!" (I guess that kind of says something about me.) It's also been a bit of a paradigm shift, really - I'm 24, and supposedly in that stage where I'm young and free and completely in denial about the fact that I or anyone I know will ever grow old and die. So I have faith in the human ability to stave off death through medicine and healthy eating and whatnot, and completely forget about that last stage of life - which, in the immortal words of Dr. House, "In case any of you missed that class in med school, that one's untreatable."
I guess maybe I should make a bit more of an effort to remember that, in order to better value the time I have. Unfortunately, denial seems to be the natural state of the human animal...
And just for the heck of it, I'm participating in a pay-it-forward thingy. It works as follows: You offer to send a handmade gift (note that "handmade" in this context simply means something you make yourself - a CD, an icon, a piece of writing, etc. - it doesn't have to be particularly craft-y, although crafts are fine too) to the first three people who respond to this post in the affirmative. If you like you can also leave a hint (favorite animal, type of music, something to base the work on). You will receive your gift within 365 days (hopefully a bit sooner). The only obligation is to pay it forward by posting a similar agreement on your journal.
