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missroseroseSo the rumor mill has it that Dick Cheney, Angel of the Bottomless Pit of Governmental Cronyism and Lord of All That Is War Profiteering, was not only in town a few days ago, but used a paltry percentage of his Halliburton-gotten gains to buy a house here on Douglas Island. I have no idea if he'll actually be living here, but given his fondness for staying in Undisclosed Locations, a house on an island in Southeast Alaska that's completely cut off from the major road system does seem a likely candidate.
Obviously the rumor mill wasn't specific as to which house that might have been, but I've come up with a pretty foolproof plan. See, I'm thinking I'll invent a little gizmo called a Demon Finder. It'd work kind of like a Geiger counter, except that it measures the free-floating particles of villainy in the air. Up until now there wouldn't have been much use for it locally - there are a good few folk in town who've become moderately wealthy by committing petty evils like building and renting out poor-quality housing or running no-tell motels - but I'm pretty sure the amount of pure, unrefined turpitude left by Mr. "I'm very proud of what we did" would drown out those remora fish in a second.
So, who's up for a good old-fashioned angry-mob-raising? I'm pretty sure Don Abel's has a supply of pitchforks, and we can improvise some torches. Given Juneau's plethora of musical talent, we might even be able to get a chorus to sing "Kill the Beast" - any volunteers?
Obviously the rumor mill wasn't specific as to which house that might have been, but I've come up with a pretty foolproof plan. See, I'm thinking I'll invent a little gizmo called a Demon Finder. It'd work kind of like a Geiger counter, except that it measures the free-floating particles of villainy in the air. Up until now there wouldn't have been much use for it locally - there are a good few folk in town who've become moderately wealthy by committing petty evils like building and renting out poor-quality housing or running no-tell motels - but I'm pretty sure the amount of pure, unrefined turpitude left by Mr. "I'm very proud of what we did" would drown out those remora fish in a second.
So, who's up for a good old-fashioned angry-mob-raising? I'm pretty sure Don Abel's has a supply of pitchforks, and we can improvise some torches. Given Juneau's plethora of musical talent, we might even be able to get a chorus to sing "Kill the Beast" - any volunteers?
