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Bumps, grooves, yoga teaching
Nov. 13th, 2017 08:35 amAs I mentioned earlier, I've hit something of a bump in the road with my yoga teaching. Or maybe less of a bump than an extended rough patch, replete with "Fresh Oil" and "Rough Grooved Surface" signs. Which probably wouldn't be so frustrating if there were also a "next 500 feet" sign, or at least some indicator of how long it was going to last. And I'm probably extending the metaphor past the point of awkwardness, so let me back up.
A couple of months ago I started teaching C2 classes at CorePower. This is their signature offering and therefore sort of the 'big leagues' for teachers; you teach in a hot studio (93 to 95 degrees F) and have the option to create your own sequences for class. Other than that, it's not much different from the C1 format, at least not unless you change it up; you're supposed to stick with the CPY formula when building your sequences (though veteran teachers have been known to change it up some), so the arc of the class remains similar, as does the cue formula and theming and everything else.
And yet...I'm having a lot of trouble finding my groove in this format. It feels a little like learning to drive stick when you're used to an automatic, except it took me a lot effort time to pick that up. And to make it extra frustrating, I don't have a concrete idea of what's wrong; my classes just aren't...gelling. They're not disasters, not usually; nobody's hurt themselves or even given me negative feedback. I get lots of "Thanks for the class" and "Great class" from people as they leave. But I'm not connecting with them the way I want to, the way I know I can; after my C1s and CoreRestores, people linger and want to talk. After my C2s...not so much. Brian thinks I'm overthinking it, and maybe he's right, but dammit, I've taken a lot of yoga classes, and taught a few as well; I know the difference between an okay class and a great class, and I want to teach the latter. I've managed to hit that feeling exactly once - the third one I taught - but the rest have felt...awkward at best. And I can't seem to figure out what the problem is.
Initially, I wondered if maybe my sequences were too advanced for the population I was teaching. I usually go to class at Uptown, since it's close by, so that's roughly the level I was aiming for - but while it's not quite to the level of Gold Coast in terms of hardcore yoga folks, it still has a strong community of dedicated yogis who go multiple times per week. Sauganash, where I have my C2 class, is a little more laid-back; the regulars there are more the "go once or twice a week when I can find space in my schedule" types. Given that people were starting to nope out by midway through the second flow, and that the majority reactions to my peak pose demonstrations ranged from "uh-uh" to "WTF?", I figured - after several weeks, heh - that maybe I should scale it back a bit.
So last week, that's what I did. And the results were...mixed. It definitely felt more in line with the capabilities of the class I had, so that was helpful. But I still felt like I was flubbing half the cues, my timing was off, and I couldn't find that sense of flow. And it didn't help that I forgot basics like the hands-on assist opt-out at the start of class. Augh.
Some of it is probably just lack of familiarity with the material. I've gone from teaching a set sequence every week to doing a new sequence every couple of weeks, replete with poses I've never taught before; while writing out cues to use with them has helped, it's harder to respond in a timely and articulate manner to the various trouble spots and misalignments I see in class. Anatomy training helps, but often I'll think something like "engage your adductors", which isn't terribly useful to someone who doesn't know the name of their inner thigh muscles, and also presumes they have the body awareness necessary to know how to tighten them. "Squeeze your thighs together" is better, but I feel like I use that cue a lot; maybe developing a stable of action cues meant to engage various muscle groups would be a good step.
Some of it, yes, is overthinking; I feel like I spend so many cycles trying to remember what's coming next in the sequence that I end up dropping cues I intend to use or sometimes whole sections of the flow (although luckily the students usually remind me when that happens). Sometimes I'm trying to figure out how to articulate a particular cue and end up with an awkwardly long period of silence, which throws off the whole rhythm of the class. And of course when I'm already feeling off-balance I'm much more likely to mentally freak out about forgetting something, or not having enough poses to fill the time, or spending too much time in one place, or any of the plates I have spinning at a given moment.
But here's the thing - I didn't expect this to be easy. Learning C1s wasn't easy; even CoreRestore, the format I enjoy teaching most, took time to get comfortable with. I'm a little frustrated at how long it's taking me, but given how much more material I'm dealing with, it's not that surprising. So I'm trying to figure out why I'm feeling so frustrated about this.
The best answer I can come up with is related to my perfectionism. I've gotten better about needing to always be 100% perfect every time I do something (because when that's the case, you never learn anything new, heh). But it's much, much tougher for me to be imperfect in front of people. With music, with writing, even with learning a new language, I've been able to learn a fair amount entirely on my own, or with the help of a trusted few; by the time I've shown my efforts to the world, I'm at least competent. But with teaching, by definition it's going to be a performative effort, which means the only way to get better is to mess up, publicly, over and over again. And the fact that I'm being paid (not a lot, but still paid) for what feels like continually messing up adds a whole other layer of expectation and frustration.
I know I'm probably being a little hard on myself. But...I'd just really like to get past this part. Please?
A couple of months ago I started teaching C2 classes at CorePower. This is their signature offering and therefore sort of the 'big leagues' for teachers; you teach in a hot studio (93 to 95 degrees F) and have the option to create your own sequences for class. Other than that, it's not much different from the C1 format, at least not unless you change it up; you're supposed to stick with the CPY formula when building your sequences (though veteran teachers have been known to change it up some), so the arc of the class remains similar, as does the cue formula and theming and everything else.
And yet...I'm having a lot of trouble finding my groove in this format. It feels a little like learning to drive stick when you're used to an automatic, except it took me a lot effort time to pick that up. And to make it extra frustrating, I don't have a concrete idea of what's wrong; my classes just aren't...gelling. They're not disasters, not usually; nobody's hurt themselves or even given me negative feedback. I get lots of "Thanks for the class" and "Great class" from people as they leave. But I'm not connecting with them the way I want to, the way I know I can; after my C1s and CoreRestores, people linger and want to talk. After my C2s...not so much. Brian thinks I'm overthinking it, and maybe he's right, but dammit, I've taken a lot of yoga classes, and taught a few as well; I know the difference between an okay class and a great class, and I want to teach the latter. I've managed to hit that feeling exactly once - the third one I taught - but the rest have felt...awkward at best. And I can't seem to figure out what the problem is.
Initially, I wondered if maybe my sequences were too advanced for the population I was teaching. I usually go to class at Uptown, since it's close by, so that's roughly the level I was aiming for - but while it's not quite to the level of Gold Coast in terms of hardcore yoga folks, it still has a strong community of dedicated yogis who go multiple times per week. Sauganash, where I have my C2 class, is a little more laid-back; the regulars there are more the "go once or twice a week when I can find space in my schedule" types. Given that people were starting to nope out by midway through the second flow, and that the majority reactions to my peak pose demonstrations ranged from "uh-uh" to "WTF?", I figured - after several weeks, heh - that maybe I should scale it back a bit.
So last week, that's what I did. And the results were...mixed. It definitely felt more in line with the capabilities of the class I had, so that was helpful. But I still felt like I was flubbing half the cues, my timing was off, and I couldn't find that sense of flow. And it didn't help that I forgot basics like the hands-on assist opt-out at the start of class. Augh.
Some of it is probably just lack of familiarity with the material. I've gone from teaching a set sequence every week to doing a new sequence every couple of weeks, replete with poses I've never taught before; while writing out cues to use with them has helped, it's harder to respond in a timely and articulate manner to the various trouble spots and misalignments I see in class. Anatomy training helps, but often I'll think something like "engage your adductors", which isn't terribly useful to someone who doesn't know the name of their inner thigh muscles, and also presumes they have the body awareness necessary to know how to tighten them. "Squeeze your thighs together" is better, but I feel like I use that cue a lot; maybe developing a stable of action cues meant to engage various muscle groups would be a good step.
Some of it, yes, is overthinking; I feel like I spend so many cycles trying to remember what's coming next in the sequence that I end up dropping cues I intend to use or sometimes whole sections of the flow (although luckily the students usually remind me when that happens). Sometimes I'm trying to figure out how to articulate a particular cue and end up with an awkwardly long period of silence, which throws off the whole rhythm of the class. And of course when I'm already feeling off-balance I'm much more likely to mentally freak out about forgetting something, or not having enough poses to fill the time, or spending too much time in one place, or any of the plates I have spinning at a given moment.
But here's the thing - I didn't expect this to be easy. Learning C1s wasn't easy; even CoreRestore, the format I enjoy teaching most, took time to get comfortable with. I'm a little frustrated at how long it's taking me, but given how much more material I'm dealing with, it's not that surprising. So I'm trying to figure out why I'm feeling so frustrated about this.
The best answer I can come up with is related to my perfectionism. I've gotten better about needing to always be 100% perfect every time I do something (because when that's the case, you never learn anything new, heh). But it's much, much tougher for me to be imperfect in front of people. With music, with writing, even with learning a new language, I've been able to learn a fair amount entirely on my own, or with the help of a trusted few; by the time I've shown my efforts to the world, I'm at least competent. But with teaching, by definition it's going to be a performative effort, which means the only way to get better is to mess up, publicly, over and over again. And the fact that I'm being paid (not a lot, but still paid) for what feels like continually messing up adds a whole other layer of expectation and frustration.
I know I'm probably being a little hard on myself. But...I'd just really like to get past this part. Please?
