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Thanks for the failure practice
Jan. 31st, 2013 07:20 pmJust a quick "thank you" for all the supportive comments. I'm feeling a lot better than I did this morning. (For the non-Facebookers/bad guessers, I got a letter from Berklee saying I hadn't been accepted. I didn't even get to the point where scholarships/financing/loans were an issue.)
I don't know what it is, exactly, but this failure feels a lot less end-of-the-world than the few similar ones I've had in the past did. Maybe it's that the whole thing was a spur-of-the-moment decision to begin with. Or the way I've managed to improve noticeably even since my audition, so I'm more hopeful about the future. Or just the fact that I'm getting older and have more life experience. (Also, as Julie pointed out when I stopped at Blissbee with the news, "You were going up against kids who've been playing piano since they were 8, been to music camp every year, and been performing in recitals most of their life." It did sort of put things in perspective.)
The rejection letter did include an invitation to apply next year (of course it did - that's another $150 for them!). I'm not sure yet if I will - a lot will depend on where we end up over the next year. If we're in Boston, I might just, especially if I can get a good chunk of lessons and performing experience and get more comfortable with myself and my voice in the interim. But if we end up landing on the West Coast, I'm sure there are good music schools there, too. And probably cheaper as well.
I don't feel like it was wasted effort. It was a good experience, and it did highlight some significant areas I need to work on. Plus it motivated me to get up off my butt and take lessons (weekly) and practice (some, not as much as I should have). And...I admit I feel a little liberated, now. I tried, I failed. It's not the end of the world. I can get better. And in the meantime, at least I did something.
And that's actually kind of a nice feeling.
I don't know what it is, exactly, but this failure feels a lot less end-of-the-world than the few similar ones I've had in the past did. Maybe it's that the whole thing was a spur-of-the-moment decision to begin with. Or the way I've managed to improve noticeably even since my audition, so I'm more hopeful about the future. Or just the fact that I'm getting older and have more life experience. (Also, as Julie pointed out when I stopped at Blissbee with the news, "You were going up against kids who've been playing piano since they were 8, been to music camp every year, and been performing in recitals most of their life." It did sort of put things in perspective.)
The rejection letter did include an invitation to apply next year (of course it did - that's another $150 for them!). I'm not sure yet if I will - a lot will depend on where we end up over the next year. If we're in Boston, I might just, especially if I can get a good chunk of lessons and performing experience and get more comfortable with myself and my voice in the interim. But if we end up landing on the West Coast, I'm sure there are good music schools there, too. And probably cheaper as well.
I don't feel like it was wasted effort. It was a good experience, and it did highlight some significant areas I need to work on. Plus it motivated me to get up off my butt and take lessons (weekly) and practice (some, not as much as I should have). And...I admit I feel a little liberated, now. I tried, I failed. It's not the end of the world. I can get better. And in the meantime, at least I did something.
And that's actually kind of a nice feeling.
