Well, I suppose I had to quit being happy at some point...

Yoga class this morning (first one in two weeks) was nice, as was having my usual Wednesday lunch with Monica, but an hour or so after that I'm suddenly finding myself extremely stressed. It doesn't look like there's any escape this time - if I'm going to stay in the dorms, I'm going to have to figure out how one goes about getting a payment plan here at UAS so my mother doesn't have to shell out 2 grand all at once. (Even on her insane paycheck, that's a bit much of a hit to take all together.) I had a vague opportunity lined up regarding possibly renting a room from Ryan's father, which would have the advantages of being cheaper and being in a really nice house (albeit I'd be paying out the nose for gas, as it's located at the ass-end of town from the University) as well as not being tied to it for the entire semester, but it's looking like I might not be able to get that lined up in time. And it's nobody's fault but my own, for putting it off this long. *sigh* And even if I do manage the cheaper option (and UAS doesn't insist on anally violating me with outlandish agreement break fees for moving out at semester break), that gives me less than two weeks to pack up all of my stuff and cart it...somewhere. Across town, most likely.

In addition, I have a précis/annotated bibliography for my American Lit term paper due tomorrow that I haven't even started (why am I not working on it now, you ask? Good question...) and about a chapter and a half's worth of Art History to read. And, of course, my mind has suddenly decided to take this time to start bombarding me with all sorts of doubts about my current relationship. Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy with it, but it suddenly seems like I can't turn off that little voice in the back of my mind that goes "Are you sure this isn't just a fling? What if it is for him and you don't realize it until you're dumped back out on the curb? Even if it isn't, what makes you think you're any good at keeping relationships going for long periods? Look how things turned out with Ian, do you really want to go through that pain again? Maybe you should stick to short-term flings and leave the long-term stuff for when you're more settled. Or just screw the long-term idea and have all the freedom to live your life however you wa--" *punts voice*

Ah. Much better. She'll be back, though.

I think tonight I'm going to have to ask Juneau-Brian to just hold me while I temporarily dissolve into a gibbering stressed-out wreck...apologies in advance, my love.

Well, I suppose I had to quit being happy at some point...

Yoga class this morning (first one in two weeks) was nice, as was having my usual Wednesday lunch with Monica, but an hour or so after that I'm suddenly finding myself extremely stressed. It doesn't look like there's any escape this time - if I'm going to stay in the dorms, I'm going to have to figure out how one goes about getting a payment plan here at UAS so my mother doesn't have to shell out 2 grand all at once. (Even on her insane paycheck, that's a bit much of a hit to take all together.) I had a vague opportunity lined up regarding possibly renting a room from Ryan's father, which would have the advantages of being cheaper and being in a really nice house (albeit I'd be paying out the nose for gas, as it's located at the ass-end of town from the University) as well as not being tied to it for the entire semester, but it's looking like I might not be able to get that lined up in time. And it's nobody's fault but my own, for putting it off this long. *sigh* And even if I do manage the cheaper option (and UAS doesn't insist on anally violating me with outlandish agreement break fees for moving out at semester break), that gives me less than two weeks to pack up all of my stuff and cart it...somewhere. Across town, most likely.

In addition, I have a précis/annotated bibliography for my American Lit term paper due tomorrow that I haven't even started (why am I not working on it now, you ask? Good question...) and about a chapter and a half's worth of Art History to read. And, of course, my mind has suddenly decided to take this time to start bombarding me with all sorts of doubts about my current relationship. Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy with it, but it suddenly seems like I can't turn off that little voice in the back of my mind that goes "Are you sure this isn't just a fling? What if it is for him and you don't realize it until you're dumped back out on the curb? Even if it isn't, what makes you think you're any good at keeping relationships going for long periods? Look how things turned out with Ian, do you really want to go through that pain again? Maybe you should stick to short-term flings and leave the long-term stuff for when you're more settled. Or just screw the long-term idea and have all the freedom to live your life however you wa--" *punts voice*

Ah. Much better. She'll be back, though.

I think tonight I'm going to have to ask Juneau-Brian to just hold me while I temporarily dissolve into a gibbering stressed-out wreck...apologies in advance, my love.