Ambrosia (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
missroserose) wrote2020-09-07 12:31 pm
missroserose) wrote2020-09-07 12:31 pm
Ups and downs
Ups:
So this is happening.
Honestly, it both isn't a big deal and really, really is. Gumbo Fiction Salon is something of a mainstay with the local genre crowd; they regularly feature writers with super long lists of awards and professional credits. Meanwhile, here I'm sitting with my modest AO3 resumé—I've read at their open mic a few times but never won any awards, let alone been paid for my work. But I've gotten to know Tina (the woman who runs the salon) over the past couple of years, and she was having trouble finding a featured reader this month, so when I jokingly said "I could read half an hour of my smutty fanfiction?" she jumped on my offer. (I comfort myself that she's already familiar with at least a bit of my work, so I'm not exactly a shot in the dark.)
But yeah, writing a professional bio was intimidating—I totally believe in fanfic as a valid art form, but we don't really have awards or bestseller statistics. It's more like coming from the punk underground, we're mostly self-taught and refine our craft entirely through community feedback. On the upside, several of my fanfic friends have expressed interest in coming...this being the Pandemic Times, it's hard to say who might show up, but maybe we'll take over the salon, haha.
Anyway, thanks to the pandemic, it's all via Zoom, so if any of you want to hear a scene from the novel-length Stranger Things story I've been working on, I'd love to have you! And yes, it is smutty, but I'm honestly pretty proud of it—it's one of the better erotic scenes I've written, and I feel like the dynamic and the atmosphere stand on their own pretty well.
On the subject of the punk underground, I've been disappearing down the fascinating sociological rabbit hole of the Southern California hardcore punk scene in the late 70s and early 80s. (Ironically, this started as research for Billy Hargrove's background, only I discovered last night that I was researching entirely the wrong subculture—metalheads were the ones with the long hair who listened to professionally produced bands, both of which were outright shunned by the punk scene. Ah well, it'll be useful for some other project, I'm sure.) I've been fascinated by Under the Big Black Sun: A Personal History of L.A. Punk, which is basically a collection of short memoirs by various people who lived through the scene. Similar to The Dirt: The Unauthorized Biography of Mötley Crüe, the constantly shifting perspective gives a surprisingly in-depth look into the context and community, as well as shining a light on the Rashomon-esque differences in perceptions and experiences; it's also an approach particularly well suited to the DIY ethos of the movement. (The audiobook is particularly awesome, as each piece is read by the contributor and—perhaps unsurprisingly—they've all so far been strong performers who really bring their pieces to life. Plus they interweave clips of the music here and there, which is a nice touch.)
I'm only a couple hours in, but so far I think my favorite moment has been from Jane Wiedlin—"By 1978 nearly everyone was in a band except for a few lone girls. That was how The Go Go's formed...Eventually it became painfully obvious that you needed no prior knowledge to form a punk band and that we were the only kids left who hadn't done so...hey, why not? We were perfectly capable of being just as incompetent as everyone else!" It honestly puts me more than a little in mind of the fanfiction scene—there's something about that combination of a low bar to entry, an enthusiastic community audience, and a wide range of 'acceptable' skill levels that creates something like an Oort Cloud of artistic achievement. I feel like there's something to be said here about the inherent creativity of the human spirit vs. the capitalist assumption that people will only create in exchange for money, but I also suspect it's more complicated than that—for all that the chaos is exciting, humans tend to crave structure, and the introduction of money into a system inevitably creates a hierarchy. Even in systems like fandom that by their nature can't involve money, the initial chaos and excitement of a new fandom or new shop eventually stratifies into the big-name authors and the lesser-knowns, which (if tumblr discourse is anything to go by) often results in no small amount of bitterness from people, especially those who've been there since early on but been pushed to the edges...
Man, humans are complicated. But endlessly fascinating!
Downs:
Condo board stuff has been especially stressful lately. The latest emergency involves two words that strike fear into the heart of any property manager: Water Intrusion, courtesy of the hundred-year-old roof masonry. We're doing our best to get it addressed ASAP, but there's a whole roof parapet that needs to be rebuilt, tuckpointed and caulked, and thanks to the pandemic, our usual masonry company is backed up by several months. I did get one company out here for a quote—and the amount was equal to literally our entire reserve right now. I've got a line on another company to come give a second opinion after the holiday weekend, but we're almost certainly going to need a special assessment, which means calling an emergency owners' meeting, and possibly applying for a bridge loan...and meantime I'm eyeing the roof doubtfully every time it rains. Still, at least the assessment should be an easy sell, if not particularly fun. Water intrusion is one of those universal Building Emergencies that even non-handy people know is A Big Problem.
And perhaps most heartbreakingly: when Dexter's latest kidney panel came back a couple weeks ago, the doctor warned us that his numbers were well into end-stage levels; this past weekend, he seems to have hit the point where he's losing continence. He's still pretty with it and doesn't seem to be in distress, but he's spending more and more time napping; long story short, I think we may be calling the vet this week. It's never an easy decision, but I'd much rather he make the transition before he reaches the point of serious pain/distress. We've had a good extra year with him thanks to fluid therapy; I'm extremely grateful, both for the additional snuggles and the time to process my own feelings about this. I'm sad, but I'm not angry. Seventeen to eighteen years is a good run for a kitty.
Still, I'm going to miss the heck out of this cat.
So this is happening.
Honestly, it both isn't a big deal and really, really is. Gumbo Fiction Salon is something of a mainstay with the local genre crowd; they regularly feature writers with super long lists of awards and professional credits. Meanwhile, here I'm sitting with my modest AO3 resumé—I've read at their open mic a few times but never won any awards, let alone been paid for my work. But I've gotten to know Tina (the woman who runs the salon) over the past couple of years, and she was having trouble finding a featured reader this month, so when I jokingly said "I could read half an hour of my smutty fanfiction?" she jumped on my offer. (I comfort myself that she's already familiar with at least a bit of my work, so I'm not exactly a shot in the dark.)
But yeah, writing a professional bio was intimidating—I totally believe in fanfic as a valid art form, but we don't really have awards or bestseller statistics. It's more like coming from the punk underground, we're mostly self-taught and refine our craft entirely through community feedback. On the upside, several of my fanfic friends have expressed interest in coming...this being the Pandemic Times, it's hard to say who might show up, but maybe we'll take over the salon, haha.
Anyway, thanks to the pandemic, it's all via Zoom, so if any of you want to hear a scene from the novel-length Stranger Things story I've been working on, I'd love to have you! And yes, it is smutty, but I'm honestly pretty proud of it—it's one of the better erotic scenes I've written, and I feel like the dynamic and the atmosphere stand on their own pretty well.
On the subject of the punk underground, I've been disappearing down the fascinating sociological rabbit hole of the Southern California hardcore punk scene in the late 70s and early 80s. (Ironically, this started as research for Billy Hargrove's background, only I discovered last night that I was researching entirely the wrong subculture—metalheads were the ones with the long hair who listened to professionally produced bands, both of which were outright shunned by the punk scene. Ah well, it'll be useful for some other project, I'm sure.) I've been fascinated by Under the Big Black Sun: A Personal History of L.A. Punk, which is basically a collection of short memoirs by various people who lived through the scene. Similar to The Dirt: The Unauthorized Biography of Mötley Crüe, the constantly shifting perspective gives a surprisingly in-depth look into the context and community, as well as shining a light on the Rashomon-esque differences in perceptions and experiences; it's also an approach particularly well suited to the DIY ethos of the movement. (The audiobook is particularly awesome, as each piece is read by the contributor and—perhaps unsurprisingly—they've all so far been strong performers who really bring their pieces to life. Plus they interweave clips of the music here and there, which is a nice touch.)
I'm only a couple hours in, but so far I think my favorite moment has been from Jane Wiedlin—"By 1978 nearly everyone was in a band except for a few lone girls. That was how The Go Go's formed...Eventually it became painfully obvious that you needed no prior knowledge to form a punk band and that we were the only kids left who hadn't done so...hey, why not? We were perfectly capable of being just as incompetent as everyone else!" It honestly puts me more than a little in mind of the fanfiction scene—there's something about that combination of a low bar to entry, an enthusiastic community audience, and a wide range of 'acceptable' skill levels that creates something like an Oort Cloud of artistic achievement. I feel like there's something to be said here about the inherent creativity of the human spirit vs. the capitalist assumption that people will only create in exchange for money, but I also suspect it's more complicated than that—for all that the chaos is exciting, humans tend to crave structure, and the introduction of money into a system inevitably creates a hierarchy. Even in systems like fandom that by their nature can't involve money, the initial chaos and excitement of a new fandom or new shop eventually stratifies into the big-name authors and the lesser-knowns, which (if tumblr discourse is anything to go by) often results in no small amount of bitterness from people, especially those who've been there since early on but been pushed to the edges...
Man, humans are complicated. But endlessly fascinating!
Downs:
Condo board stuff has been especially stressful lately. The latest emergency involves two words that strike fear into the heart of any property manager: Water Intrusion, courtesy of the hundred-year-old roof masonry. We're doing our best to get it addressed ASAP, but there's a whole roof parapet that needs to be rebuilt, tuckpointed and caulked, and thanks to the pandemic, our usual masonry company is backed up by several months. I did get one company out here for a quote—and the amount was equal to literally our entire reserve right now. I've got a line on another company to come give a second opinion after the holiday weekend, but we're almost certainly going to need a special assessment, which means calling an emergency owners' meeting, and possibly applying for a bridge loan...and meantime I'm eyeing the roof doubtfully every time it rains. Still, at least the assessment should be an easy sell, if not particularly fun. Water intrusion is one of those universal Building Emergencies that even non-handy people know is A Big Problem.
And perhaps most heartbreakingly: when Dexter's latest kidney panel came back a couple weeks ago, the doctor warned us that his numbers were well into end-stage levels; this past weekend, he seems to have hit the point where he's losing continence. He's still pretty with it and doesn't seem to be in distress, but he's spending more and more time napping; long story short, I think we may be calling the vet this week. It's never an easy decision, but I'd much rather he make the transition before he reaches the point of serious pain/distress. We've had a good extra year with him thanks to fluid therapy; I'm extremely grateful, both for the additional snuggles and the time to process my own feelings about this. I'm sad, but I'm not angry. Seventeen to eighteen years is a good run for a kitty.
Still, I'm going to miss the heck out of this cat.
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Getting to learn and think about the punk underground sounds really fun!
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Oooooh. That's super interesting, and if your thoughts ever coalesce into a post I'd be happy to read it.
It reminds me of how certain critics seemed to regard John Green as the savior of the YA genre, even though he was only doing the exact same thing that a lot of female YA authors at the time were doing, and in some cases not even doing it as well. (My impression is that Green himself knew this, and tried to push back against this critical narrative, but... critics gonna critic, I guess?) It's like they read his books and were like "this is a book a grown-up person, like me, can appreciate!" and then didn't even bother to read E. Lockhart.
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And yeah, John Green has struck me more than once as uncomfortably aware of how much of his fame/success/acceptance stems from his relatively privileged social position. I've ruminated a lot on the double-sided nature of fame, and how so much of it is people projecting what they want/need to see onto you, and then (when, inevitably, you fail them, because you're a human being and flawed and complicated and you aren't always going to be what they want/need) proceeding to publicly drag you for not living up to that standard. It's given me second (and third, and fifteenth) thoughts about ever wanting to participate in the public sphere, heh.
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With Green I think this came more from the vlog that he and his brother cohosted, vlogbrothers, and the community that grew up around that, because the books (and I say this as someone who enjoyed them) were not boundary-pushing even by the far-more-tightly-boundaried standards of circa 2010.
Actually, it's sort of startling to think back and see how fast things have changed in this regard. This summer one of my coworkers made a display of queer children's books - picture books about a princess and a lady knight falling in love and that sort of thing - which you just could not have done ten years ago. There would have been three books and parents would have complain to high heaven. With YA it might have been doable, but a lot tougher than now.
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Even in systems like fandom that by their nature can't involve money, the initial chaos and excitement of a new fandom or new shop eventually stratifies into the big-name authors and the lesser-knowns --That seems like it stands happily side-by-side with your observation about catering to the dominant culture.
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Have you seen Penelope Spheeris's Decline of Western Civilization? It was made in 1981, just after the 1978-1980 LA Punk scene it was documenting. It's been years since I saw it, but I think it would inform your studies.
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I have not yet seen Decline of Western Civilization, but it's definitely on my radar, as it's been referenced as a seminal work on the subject by literally every source I've come across. :)
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Please consider yourself invited to the salon, if you're free! It's an open mic too, so if you wanted to read a ten-minute selection from Honeytrap (or one of your other works), I bet you'd find a receptive audience. :)
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But WOHOO congrats on the reading!! That's excellent!
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Thank you! I have a Zoom date set up with KC (my metamour) for a dress rehearsal of sorts, so we can test out different mic and video setups. I'm a little entertained that it's looking like the best place (in terms of having space to set up a ring light/prop up my laptop on book stacks) is going to be my vanity, which means my bedroom will be the background...it feels weirdly appropriate for reading smutty fic. (Maybe I should change the duvet cover to the toile...