Nov. 26th, 2012

missroserose: (Hippie Musician)
In a very strange headspace this morning. My brain apparently decided to have a "Let's get all wired and run run run like a hamster in a wheel all night and maybe get a grand total of two hours of sleep!" party, and I woke up feeling every missed hour with interest - but once I sat up and got some coffee in me, the grogginess disappeared and I actually felt surprisingly alert. Definitely beats the alternative (especially given that I'm covering the gallery alone today), but it sort of makes me wonder whether I just *feel* alert and am actually zoning out something fierce, or if I've hit that point where my subconscious is taking over and I'll find at the end of the day that I've written my masterpiece in between waiting on customers. Jury's still out.

Thanksgiving was a lovely holiday. We went to Scott and Niki's place in Sierra Vista to cook for them (would have invited them to our place, but they have a three-year-old daughter and our house is definitely not childproof). Not only did that mean we had friends to share the holiday with, but Brian's turkey dinner got rave reviews from their ten-year-old daughter - which, as anyone familiar with the species is aware, is one of the highest accolades one can earn. Additionally, Niki introduced me to Just Dance, which led to my searching for a used Kinect in the $50 price range, and not finding one anywhere online (where they all seem to run $70 or more). Discouraged, I decided to try the GameStop in Sierra Vista, even though I wasn't holding my breath after Black Friday - and it turned out they had so many of them they were selling them for $40 apiece, which was $20 off their usual price and less than half the cost of a new one. I'm not the biggest fan of GameStop's business model, and only rarely buy games from them, but the local one seems surprisingly well-run and we've gotten excellent deals on used gear there more than once. And I found two well-reviewed games (Dance Central 3 and Just Dance 4) on sale at Amazon for $25 each. Now to wait for them to arrive.

After five months and a good two-inches-plus of new growth, I've finally bleached my hair again. No clumps falling out, hurrah! I've been having fun using up leftover dye by mixing colors; this time, I mixed together a bunch of Cupcake Pink with my leftover Cherry Bomb, and came out with a rather nice slightly-orangey flamingo pink. It was a bit of a shock after the months of darker colors, and it's probably not quite as flattering as the purple or the burgundy I had going for a while, but the color's growing on me. I'm just a little sorry I'm not likely to go anywhere blacklit while I have the color, as both colors are blacklight-reactive and it would be fun to show it off. Ah well. It'll probably be back to something darker as my roots grow out again - new rule is I get to bleach once a month at most, and less is better. But it's fun to have something eye-searingly bright again.

Music is going...haltingly. I don't know why I have no problem practicing guitar daily but I'm so much more self-conscious about voice. One week I didn't practice at all. Last week I practiced once. I've gotten once in so far this week, and a couple more days until my lesson, so hopefully I can get another day in. I've barely done any work on sight reading, despite that being my weakest point - I tried a little bit, but felt like the slow kid in first grade who tries to follow along with their finger in the book but is obviously just watching the other kids to see where they put their fingers rather than reading the book themselves. Grah. I was able to accept that I was starting from day one with guitar, and I'm not even starting from day one with music - I already have the rhythms and note names down from my days playing flute. But it's still so hard to let go of that "I should already be good at this, dammit." Well. Nothing's going to change if I don't get going on it, and I really don't want to embarrass myself at my audition. So I'd best work on it tonight. Maybe sleep-deprivation will help with the self-consciousness as well as the creativity.
missroserose: (Show Your Magic)
Most of what has been written about me is one big blur, but I do remember being described in one simple word that I agree with. It was in a piece that tore me apart for my personal behavior, but the writer said that when the music began and I started to sing, I was “honest.” That says it as I feel it. Whatever else has been said about me personally is unimportant. When I sing, I believe. I’m honest. If you want to get an audience with you, there’s only one way. You have to reach out to them with total honesty and humility. This isn’t a grandstand play on my part; I’ve discovered—and you can see it in other entertainers—when they don’t reach out to the audience, nothing happens. You can be the most artistically perfect performer in the world, but an audience is like a broad—if you’re indifferent, endsville.

Frank Sinatra, Playboy, February 1963

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